Ask Luke’s Mother in Law: Bees in the Bathroom, Guns on the Range


Got questions? Martha Boyd has all sorts of answers. A desert-dweller, self-proclaimed crazy cat lady, former LAPD officer and widow to a Green Beret, she’s seen and heard things crazier than you’ve imagined. And is ready for whatever odd questions you have, so bring them on!

Hi all. Another week, and most kids are back to school and parents are doing the happy dance with teachers doing the “when is the next vacation” song. We have great teachers out here in the Morongo Basin. I know several and they are dedicated and very hard working. With most schools the classes are over crowded and lack funds for a lot of supplies. But they keep going. I’m not sure I would survive in a room with 35 seventh graders.

Frizzy and Pirate really earned their cookies this week. I went out at 7 a.m. for a job and was back to the office by 10 am. Frizzy met me at the door and was chattering, then started running back and forth from where I was to the rear bathroom. Like mom follow me NOW. Well, I got my arms unloaded and followed him to the bathroom. He then started jumping up at the rear wall. Pirate was sitting on the counter and crying. She was also looking at the rear wall. So I start looking around the windows on the rear wall, there are 2 windows and I have shelves with colored glass pieces. I start hearing a buzzzzzing. This is not normal. I moved a couple of glass pieces off the window shelf and there were 2 bees. Weird – we have never had bees in the house.

So I grab the bug spray. Frizzy is still jumping at the wall and Pirate is still crying on the counter. So listen some more. Look up and at the ceiling there are several more bees flying around. At the ceiling where the wall meets we have glass blocks. Get the step ladder and zap the bug spray. This seemed to take care of the interior buzzing. I went outside and looked at the eaves to see if there was a hive – nope. So every few hours I checked for buzzing and all was good. Got a total of 9 bees.

Next day I did the same thing go out to do a job and when I get back 2 bees in the bathroom. There were none when I left at 7 am. By 9 when I was back they were back. Both were up by the glass blocks. Frizzy was back jumping at the wall and Pirate was crying again. This time I drag out the 6 ft ladder to get a better look at the ceiling and glass blocks and there it was – a small hole about the size of a pencil eraser. I zapped the 2 bees and got my handy tube of Dap. Was just able to reach the hole and put down a couple of lines of Dap. Will let that dry and reapply in about 24 hours to close the spot. Next time LYT is here I may have him get up on the ladder and put in a bit more as he is much taller than I am and his reach will be better. I could just get to the spot with the tip of the Dap tube.


So the kids knew something was wrong and let me know. Frizzy is now hanging out in the bathroom on bee duty. He is such a good boy.

The next day more breakage – this time it was the outgoing line to the pool filter. The on/off valve broke. So water was running out of the pool. Anyway, on this one I was able to fix with taking a nut/bolt off the return – however this now broke the return which is higher up so it stopped the water from escaping. So I was short a nut/bolt, but I managed to fix this with 2 twist ties and a clamp. I really had a crash course in fixing things around the house this week – not fun. These are all things the husband would have taken care of.

Well now that I have totally bored you all with heroic cats, bees and breaking pools, we have a couple of questions to get to.


Robert Thomas:

Hi Martha, long-time reader and first time advice seeker here. I’ve kind of been kicking around the idea of picking up a handgun recently, but I’ve never held a firearm in my life. Any ideas on how I should go, If I decide to do it? Love the column, thanks!

I would find a local public shooting range. Most of them have gun safety classes and it is a good place to safely learn about a weapon. Most range masters will let you try weapons so you can find what you a comfortable with. Talk to the range master and be honest that you are a newbie. You can also go to gun shops, sporting good stores etc and hold various guns they have for sale.

One of the biggest things to look for is how the grip feels in your hand. The grip, butt etc is important in how you control the gun. For example, I have very small hands so most of the standard grips are to big for me and when the weapon fires it is hard to hold on to. So I have very slim grips (guys hate them). However, it does keep the guys away from my weapon. I get a really good grip on the gun and thus have control.

Then the weapon – depends on what you want to do with it. Home protection, hunting, plunking at the range etc. Most guys like the automatics; I however do not, as most are too big for my hand and the slide has come back and cut my hand. I love the SW38 (police special – cops don’t carry it any more as it only takes 6 rounds). My next fav is a Ruger 357. Again it only takes 6 rounds. The 45 auto is good as it takes more than 6 rounds depending on the clip size. For the range also make sure you have a good set of ear protectors and glasses for eye protection. After you have gotten good with the small stuff an Uzi is tons of fun. Thanks for writing in – glad you like the column. Let me know what you decide.

More of a request than a question:

Do you think you can make a pecan pie with the new pecan pie-flavored M&Ms baked in?

Yes – but why would I want to ruin a good pecan pie with M&Ms?. I guess if you like chocolate on you pecan pie it would be okay. I will have to try them alone first.


So what does LYT like to eat when he is at your house?

Hi – well, I normally cook dinner when LYT and Julia are at the house. However this time I have to be in 29 Palms for 6pm rehearsal so had to make things in advance. LYT’s fav meal at the house is lasagna [European style with NO ricotta or cottage cheese – LYT]. This time, for time purposes, I baked chicken thighs, and made a chili mac dish. I also got a pack of hot dog buns so they could do hot dogs. There is always soup, noodles, frozen pizza in the house so they will not go hungry. When I get home I can do desert. We are currently working on brownies and triple chunk ice cream.

No name:

So how do you feel about this “Subway” child porn thing?

It is so sad. We need to keep in mind that “Subway” had nothing to do with this issue and it is unfortunate that the company name has been dragged into the issue. So I will still eat at “Subway” when I can.

It is unfortunate that this ever happens. Children should always be protected as they are precious. I don’t know why he or anyone else has the need for child porn. Then to toss everything away in his life for this – really, I just don’t understand it at all.

Well, peeps this brings another week to a close. Please, please send in questions. This can only keep going with your questions. Or you will force me to talk to myself in writing. I already talk to cats. Anyway as always be good to each other this next week, and to you all HUGGS.

Got questions for Martha? On life, love, nerdy nitpickery and anything else? You can either post them below in comments, or email them directly to boydappraisal at Nothing is off the table, so give it your best inquiry.