Woman Gets Tiny Platinum Heart Implanted Inside Her Eye


Remember the Brazilian dude who tattooed his eyeballs black? At the risk of sounding cultural-ist, or whatever the word is for imagining far-away places are weirder than yours, we expect that kind of stuff from Brazil, since it is after all the home of Senhor Testiculo.

I just didn’t think New York would one-up Ink Eye Guy so quickly.

Here, we have a woman who had a tiny heart-shaped piece of platinum put inside her eye. Why?

“It’s going to be a conversation maker,” says Lucy Luckayanko. “I will be able to tell people. It will be unique. It will be sort of my unique factor.

Yeah, I was thinking of amputating a couple of my fingers at random, because that would be unique, too. You know the thing about physical weirdness, Lucy? The thing is that people tend to avoid talking about it. Especially if it was a deliberate choice to do something gross, like tattoo your labia or something.

(Fun fact: when I got my back tattoo done, a guy came in who wanted a touch-up on his dick-head tattoo. That’s not an insult to the tattoo; I mean it was literally on his dick head.)

But this is being done by a legitimate doctor, not just some body-mod obsessive. And it leads me to wonder when the first wealthy, masochistic nerd will get the Starfleet logo so embedded. Come to think of it, that sounds like a Big Bang Theory episode waiting to happen (with Sheldon or whoever inevitably backing out somehow so they don’t have to wear a contact for the rest of the series).

If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out. But I’m kinda stuck if your eye offends me. Makes me cry to think about it, in fact, but not out of emotion. Out of “OH SHIT YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT SHIT BEING IN MY EYE AND IT FAKE HURTS.”


New York News

h/t Gallen_Dugall