For $200, You Simply Must Own a Copy of Moby Dick Rewritten in Japanese Emoticons


If science fiction has taught us anything, it’s that in the future, when we have starship captains and such, the only book anyone ever reads (or at least quotes from) will be Moby Dick. It therefore behooves us to keep translations current, so that when accents evolve into whatever the hell it is Will Smith’s doing in After Earth, and sideburns evolve into Captain Kirk’s triangular points, we have a literary classic that everyone can still understand.

Look, down the line, when aliens attack us or whatever, you’re going to want a determined, vengeful hero, and he or she is gonna need that “For hate’s sake I stab at thee” part memorized. But kids today don’t read any more.

So is $200 really too great a price to pay for a translation into Japanese emoji – mini pictures sent by text message? If we have to depend on Mako Mori from Pacific Rim to save us from Kaiju someday, you’ll consider it money well-spent to have a copy on-hand for her.

source: The AV Club via SlyDante777