Blu-ray Today: 1 Girl, 1 Tank, 2 Guns, 3 Cornettos


The World’s End/The Cornetto Trilogy – Thematically, Edgar Wright’s three action-comedies starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are the perfect pics for my generation of nerdity, featuring slightly immature men who get to live out a different geekout childhood fantasy in each film – zombie-slayers in Shaun of the Dead, action heroes in Hot Fuzz and sci-fi saviors in The World’s End. Wright and cowriter Pegg maintain a delicate balance throughout, acknowledging that these guys are occasionally quite stupid, but fighting for their rights to be so against stifling (and evil) forces that would bring about a supposedly superior conformity, from the undead to the county council.

Fans of inferior, mass-produced ice cream know full well that there are more than three flavors of Cornetto in existence; the largest one, the Magnifico, has yet to make a cameo in a Wright movie, and is possibly being saved for the inevitable reunion movie a decade or so from now. What I’m saying is, despite the apocalypse in the last film, I wouldn’t be surprised to see another one day. In the meantime, go for the three-movie set rather than the individual The World’s End – it’s not that much more pricey and it also features some exclusive extras.

Tank Girl The movie that inspired thousands of cosplayers features Lori Petty as a more colorful, gender-flipped Mad Max who also sleeps with mutant kangaroos and rocks out to Courtney Love. Even at the time we knew this was straining on its low budget – the movie uses illustrated, comic-book segues as a stylistic device to avoid showing us sets that couldn’t be afforded. Yet it’s fun anyway, and introduced harcore sci-fi and cult film fans to Naomi Watts years before the Oscar crowd knew who she was (production designer Catherine Hardwicke also went on to direct Twilight, which…well, it probably paid better). Tank Girl is ultimately no untouchable classic, and it really does deserve a reboot in an era where Sucker Punch borrowed heavily from its aesthetic already. But she’s still the Girl U Want.

2 Guns The most gay-innuendo laden action movie of the year sees Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg rolling around together in the dirt pretending not to have raging hard-ons for each other, as undercover law enforcement dudes double-crossing each other and messing with drug dealers. Supposedly based on a comic, it plays more like fan fiction. But that’s not a bad thing in this case. (Just to preempt the inevitable “that guy” – you do not have to cite chapter and verse of which comic it is based on. I knew the answer once. I just don’t care to retain that information.)

Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 5 – Hugh Borg. Ensign Ro. Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra. The Inner Light. Spock’s return. All this and a ton of extras, including one episode commentary by Seth Macfarlane for some reason (You tink daaat’s bad? Remember the time you watched Star Trek: Insurrection?).

Lost Girl: Season 3 – “Ever loyal Lauren and the Succubus get serious about their relationship, but keeping up with Bo proves to be no easy task. Meanwhile, Kenzi continues to struggle with being human in a Fae world, Hale is named the acting Ash, and Dyson’s new partner – a Valkyrie vixen known as Tamsin – has her sights set on Bo. To make matters worse, Trick reveals that Bo’s strange behavior is a result of The Dawning, a clandestine rite of passage that determines the fate of the each and every Fae.”

I have no goddamn clue what any of that means, but I hear the show’s good.

Assault on Precinct 13 Dun dun da DUH duh…Dun dun da DUH duh…Dun dun da DUH duh…Dun dun da DUH duh.

Eve of Destruction Hey, remember when Gregory Hines briefly tried to be an action hero? And he was after some hot chick with a nuclear bomb inside her? No? Good thing this Blu-ray is coming out, then.

Those are my top picks for today. What are yours?