How Much Would You Pay for a Breast-Milk Flavored Lollipop?
…because you’re looking at between $2-$3.
Lollyphile is a specialty candy company that specializes in unusual flavors aimed at adults, from absinthe to sriracha, and even the banned-by-space-treaty Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. However, many of their flavors are simulations – the alcoholic beverage ones contain no alcohol, and their bacon variants are based on a flavor simulation that’s actually kosher.
And then there’s…breast milk. Which they claim is actually vegan (side note: do vegans have a problem with human breast milk? Yes, it’s an animal product, but you can guarantee consent so the source “animal” isn’t exploited). But it’s based on their having tasted enough real samples to be able to “candify” it.
we felt it was our responsibility to find out just what this flavor was that could turn a screaming, furious infant into a placid, contented one. Surely the flavor must be heavenly, yes?
…These lollipops won’t bring back childhood memory; they’ll bring up animal instinct. Quite possibly the most inherently satisfying flavor of all time.
I think this is what became of Bertie Bott when he realized that “every flavor” need not merely cater to kids. I hate to say it, but you’re probably thinking it, so here goes – if we’re talking about tastes that bring up animal instinct, can flavors that evoke oral sex be far away? If you can sell “earwax” jellybeans to kids, why not…okay, I’ll stop now. Your mind just filled that in in gag-worthy fashion, didn’t it?
UPDATED: Oh dear god, there’s something worse…“Edible Anus” chocolates.