Given all the E3 news that happened over the weekend, I was all set to do a Videogame News Trifecta (at least), but Nintendo’s announcement of the MiiVerse here was just too… well, let’s say important for me to dilute with coverage of other things. The MiiVerse is a new system for the WiiU which allows people to chat via text and video, have Facebook-esque group chats, and will eventually be accessible on phones and PCs and is actually pretty groovy until 1) you remember that Nintendo went out of its way to make hooking up online with your friends needlessly hard on the Wii and 2) you see this video:
Now, I’m not going to say anything about how Nintendo apparently feels that Nintendo gamers are awful, obnoxious people; even companies who spend millions of dollars on marketing per year release duds some of the time, even at the year’s biggest gaming expo. Here’s what’s insane to me: That zombie game that Guy #1 is playing? It’s not a game. It’s a fake game. It’s not real.
Nintendo couldn’t present a Nintendo game to demonstrate the WiiU’s MiiVerse capabilities for its own E3 presentation.
That’s fucking insane. No WiiU Mario? There’s not a single first-party game even a quarter of the way ready? They couldn’t even be bothered to mock-up a regular Wii game for the guy to “play”? In their fucking E3 presentation? That’s horrible. What’s more, they couldn’t even make a fake game that looks even halfway decent? Madness. I think SlyDante, who sent me the tip, says it best:
Nintendo, are you so THAT f***ing devoid of creativity these days, & so THAT out of touch with (yet desperate to connect to) hardcore gamers, that you had to INVENT A FAKE F***ING GAME TO SHOW OFF WITH YOUR SYSTEM. YOU COULDN’T THINK OF ONE DAMN GAME. FROM NINTENDO. THE PEOPLE WHO F***ING REVOLUTIONIZED GAMING BACK IN THE DAY. AND YOU HAVE HAD A YEAR TO DO THIS. F*** YOU.
The one thing Nintendo has always had going for them is their games; if they can’t be bothered to make a fake game that looks even slightly interesting to show off the WiiU at E3, well, that’s more damning than anything I can say.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.