Your Only Chance to Meet the One True Baroness


?The Baroness is coming to this year’s G.I. Joe Con on March 31st – April 3rd. I don’t mean one of those models Hasbro decks out in skintight leather and has strut around cons every so often (although those are fine, too). No, I mean Morgan Lofting, the original voice of the original Baroness from the G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero cartoon is coming, for her first ever convention appearance. As the woman who gave so many of us fetishes for bad girls, girls who wear glasses, girls who wear leather body suits, and girls with sexy Eastern European accents, and any combination of the four, I figure her first con appearance is pretty noteworthy.

I also think it’s noteworthy because this is so clearly going to go horribly, horribly wrong. Because at some point she’s going to be on a panel, and eventually there will be a Q&A, and Ms. Lofting will not be ready for the nightmare that will be unleashed. Look, as much as we’re nerds who can still function in polite society, cons will ALWAYS have a few nerds who can’t, and those nerds will ALWAYS be at the con panel Q&As, and they will ALWAYS BE THE ONE’S ASKING THE QUESTIONS. Plus, since she voiced should a beloved and sexy character, I think we all know it’s going to get extra-weird. Honestly, I think the odds of Lofting crying and running away during the panel itself are a solid 20%, minimum. Point is, I doubt you’ll ever get a chance to meet the original Baroness again. If you want to meet her, I’d get your ass registered now.