We were all shaken by the news that Heroes is possibly coming back for a fifth season. The skies darkened. Plants withered and died. Mothers held their crying children close to their breasts. Our national nightmare continues and when it will end, no man can say. But TR commenter R3MY has found a small silver lining by reminding me of my previous “Guess the Worst Moment in Transformers 3” and “G.I. Joe: RoC” contests, and pointing out that I should do the same for the new, please-god-final season of Heroes. He was 100% right.
?So please, for this contest, try to imagine what horrors the new season of Heroes might bring upon us. Please remember, this is a show that, after season one:
? Changes the powers — and the rules of its powers — will-nilly
? Keeps focusing on characters it clearly has no idea what to do with, story-wise
? Keeps introducing new characters it clearly has no idea what to do with, story-wise
? Given Sylar more daddy issues and mommy issues than he has actual mommies and daddies
? Has stranded Hiro in the past (twice), made his randomly lose his powers (at least twice), turned his brain into that of a little kid, turned him retarded — no offense, but that’s what they really did — and able to only talk in terms of American comics, and given him a fatal brain tumor that was cured by the kiss of his imaginary dead mother
? Had the big bad guy of last season start his evil plan in the first episode, but only get his motivation to enact his evil plan (which, I shit you not, was his high school sweetheart not suddenly decided to join his fucking circus) in episode 15
? Had one hero got on a “spirit journey” in Africa, which resulted in him 1) meeting a turtle, 2) carrying around that turtle for several episodes, and 3) having him stalk after a jailbait blonde girl while 3a) he was still married with a new baby as if that was in any way heroic
I could go on (and on, and on) but you get the idea. Look, I think season 1 of Heroes was great — I thought it was better than Lost when it aired (although admittedly that was season 3, Lost‘s weakest season) — but it’s gone downhill for 54 straight episodes, and I see no reason why that should change now.
So please, tell me what you think the stupidest moment will be in Heroes season 5. One entry per person, and try to keep it no more than 150 words (I’m not going to tell you a specific limit, but I will dismiss any entries that are too long, so the briefer the safer). The contest ends at 12:01 am EST on Monday, May 3rd. Have a great weekend, folks.