? Black Dynamite Really, there’s nothing I can or should say. Watch the trailer, and if it kicks your ass like it does mine, ’nuff said.
? Halo: Legends The Halo version of The Animatrix. I’ve not seen anything from it that makes me feel that two chapters will be awesome, a few will be mediocre, and the rest will be characters with big hair talking to each other about how awful war is.
? Small Wonder: The Complete First Season You know, I didn’t realize this at the time, but Small Wonder is just a big pro-child slavery endorsement. This dude makes a daughter, and puts it to work. No one else in the family minds. Huh.
? Ran Criterion has a bunch of Blu-rays coming out today, but the one of most nerd-interest would like be Kurosawa’s Ran. Warning: It’s just a tad depressing.
? Hot Wheels Battle Force 5: Season One, Vol. 1 “An elite team of teen drivers and their ultra-fast vehicles are out to
save the planet! As they race through interdimensional Battle Zones at
hyperfast speeds, their cars transform into high-tech armored battle
machines, decked out and ready for combat. Once in the Battle Zones,
they must work together to defeat their enemies and capture the
powerful BattleKeys to save the Earth from destruction. … Can Battle Force 5 and their awesome vehicles defeat The Vandals and
The Sark capture all the BattleKeys and save the world from evil? Watch
the battle to find out!” You think the person who wrote this description committed suicide immediately afterwards? I think he did.
? Zombie Apocalypse It comes with a free comic book. I’m sure this is a sign that this is a good movie and not at all a desperate plea for buyers’ attention.
? 20th Century Boys 2: The Last Hope I’ve read the description for this based-on-a-manga movie like five times, and it makes less sense each time. So… this exists. That’s all I got.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.