Sweet Evil Flying Jesus, the Spider-man Musical Is Called “Spider-man, Turn Off the Dark”


WHAT. THE. FUCK. From Marvel:

Webheads, get ready to experience the exploits of your friendly
neighborhood Spider-Man in an entirely new, exciting way when
“Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark” opens on Broadway!

Mark your calendars now, thwippers, “Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark”
opens on Thursday, February 18, 2010 at Broadway’s Hilton Theatre, 213
West 42nd Street. And some lucky Broadway goers will get to see the
show when preview performances begin Saturday, January 16, 2010.

The musical follows the story of teenager Peter Parker, whose
unremarkable life is turned upside-down–literally–when he’s bitten by a
genetically altered spider and wakes up the next morning clinging to
his bedroom ceiling. This bullied science-geek–suddenly endowed with
astonishing powers–soon learns, however, that with great power comes
great responsibility as villains test not only his physical strength
but also his strength of character.

Spider-Man’s battles will hurtle the audience through an origin story
both recognizable and unexpected–yielding new characters as well as
familiar faces–until a final surprising confrontation casts a startling
new light on this hero’s journey.

“Turn Off the Dark”? What the fuck does that even mean? What emo teen won the contest to name this stupid thing? Will Spider-man be fighting an evil lightswitch?

I can actually feel my brain churning at this ridiculous title. About the only thing worse I think would be if it was called “Spider-man, Let Your Love Shine.” Do you folks have any suggestions?