God of War III Contains Hot God-on-Cyclops Action
When we last saw Kratos at the end of God of War II, he was Zeus, god of all the gods. Clearly, he gets shafted yet again, because in God of War III, he appears to be fighting his way out of Hades sans his divine might. This would probably be enough to get me to buy the game for a third time, at least if I had a PS3. Anyways, it appears Kratos now has the ability to:
? Grab enemies, and use them as a battering ram
? Set the ground on fire with his silly Blades of Chaos
Cerebus Cerberus Gauntlets, which are like boxing gloves made of stone wolf heads
? The ability to make Cyclopses (Cyclopi?) freak out and smash their allies by stabbing them repeatedly in the head
? Grab on to Harpies and steer them by stabbing them, which would seem problematic to me, but of course is fine in the stab-happy world of God of War
But it’s Kratos tearing the Harpy apart after he’s enjoyed his little ride that sums up the game for me. Although maybe Kratos isn’t just being a dick. Maybe the Harpy was making fun of him for being caked in white clown make-up. Alas, we’ll never know.