If You Watch One Super Mario-themed Video with Jason Bateman, Alyssa Milano and Mr. Belvedere…

Make sure it’s this one, because it is beyond fucked up.

I honestly have had fever dreams that were more lucid than this. I’m putting my thoughts after the jump, as not to spoil anyone from the insanity that awaits. “Thanks” to My Blog Rules for pointing it out.

A Short List of the Insanity from the Super Mario On Ice Video:

? Jason Bateman explaining the plot of Super Mario Bros. to Alyssa Milano
? That a computer virus takes over the Nintendo
? The fact that the guy who plays Mr. Belvedere is playing King Koopa
? That both Jason Bateman and Alyssa Milano recognize him as Mr. Belvedere
? Mr. Belvedere breaking into song about his life as King Koopa
? Princess Toadstool (she wasn’t Peach back then, you goddamn fanboys) speaking inexplicably like Mae West
? Mario and Luigi dropping down from the fucking sky, like angels sent by God
? Luigi violently gunning down Koopa Troopas in front of an audience of cheering children
? The children killing Mr. Belvedere at Mario’s orders
? That this entire parade of insanity was ON ICE.

I’m going to drink a great deal and lie down now.