Five Things We Learned From Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 4:00 pm
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Deus Ex: Human Revolution is an exploration of whether someone is still human when they have sunglasses built into their face
As we continue the trend of expanding the "Five Things We Learned" series into this-generation territory, we now come to a game that asks important questions like, "Will Detroit still be a cesspool in 2027?" and "If you could shoot metal planks out of your elbows, would you use this power for good or evil?"

Deus Ex: Human Revolution (shortened to DX:HR because honestly, with an acronym that badass, why not use it) is the prequel to Deus Ex, which presented a vision of the future that tapped into the eerie atmosphere of those early days of the new millennium and is heralded to this day as one of the best video games ever made. I've expressed my love many times for the classic original, but did the prequel live up its roots? Can Adam Jensen adequately fill out the big coat of JC Denton?

Having just played through this game, I learned the answers to the above questions -- and much more. And even though I never asked for this, I ended up learning... a little bit about life.

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Five Things We Learned From Dragon Age: Origins

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 at 3:00 pm
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In Dragon Age: Origins, you do regular stuff like kill arch-demons and sleep with witches.

I've been severely behind the times on this-gen games for what seems like an eternity. For a long while I had no console to call my own, only a laptop with a graphics card that kept me permanently stuck in about 2005.  Using the computer equivalent of dark sorcery (I think I put a file called "eyeofnewt.ini" in some directory), I managed to trick the machine into running some more recent games like Oblivion or Mass Effect, but the dismal frame-rates made the games more like interactive slideshows, and I usually had to decrease the draw distance so much that my character was wandering through a permanent haze.

Every so often I would remember wistfully the good old days when I was at the cutting edge of gaming, when my father had bought a Dreamcast for us and we marveled at its then-unbelievable capabilities. I have clear memories of shouting at the microphone we attached to the controller to play Seaman, trying to tell my tadpole son that he was a fuck-up and that he'd never amount to anything, all the while amazed that games were so advanced.

For a time  it seemed that those days were gone forever, that the price of New York life on low wages would preclude me from experiencing current games.

But recently a good friend purchased a newer model Xbox 360 and, in an act of gamer benevolence matched by few others, passed his still-perfectly-working previous 360 along to me. And so suddenly I find myself with all the possibilities of modern gaming at my fingertips. Mad with power, I now chip away at a seven-year backlog, devouring the games I once thought I would only be able to play come 2020 or so.

And with new games, come new life lessons. So let's get right to it, and talk about the lessons of one of the first games I popped into that sweet vertical 360 CD tray -- Dragon Age: Origins.
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Game Trailer Songs That Would've Been Weird Yet Rad

Tuesday, January 10, 2012 at 1:00 pm

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Marcus Fenix of Gears of War, who is a pretty tough dude, benefits directly from a Tears for Fears cover.

​There's something about incongruity that interests the mind. Two things that don't seem to fit together being combined can be a source of fascination, humor or even awe. It's the reason we are interested in a great many things. Examples of these kinds of odd pairings are everywhere. Sweet and sour pork is one (How can one serving of pork be both deliciously sweet and also mouth-puckeringly sour? Visit your neighborhood Chinese restaurant to find out!). Gator Golf is another ("What could be greater than golf with a gator," a philosopher once mused).

Rat-cat-dog is perhaps the ultimate expression.

Sometimes, video game trailers will rely on this to draw potential players in by matching game footage with music that is both totally unexpected yet somehow extremely effective. The most famous example of this to date is the masterful trailer for the original Gears of War, which featured an armored mega-badass running and gunning against a terrible, alien foe in a bombed-out cityscape to the sleepy, melancholy strains of Gary Jules's cover of "Mad World." It's a dynamic that has worked in other trailers since, including the Bioshock Infinite trailer recently released

I can't help but wonder if this same trick of amazing game footage paired with gorgeous yet unexpected music would work for other upcoming releases as well. So I took the trailers of a few of the most anticipated games coming up in the future and thought about what music might have that "this is ridiculous... wait, actually, this is awesome" effect. 

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Video Games' Unsung Heroes of 2011

Friday, January 6, 2012 at 10:00 am
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Looking back over the past 12 months of video game releases, it's hard not to feel a bit overwhelmed. The AAA blockbusters got rolling early in 2011 with only a few lulls in the action leading up to the monstrous holiday window.


We saw a lot of big titles this year--both new IPs and a ridiculous number of high profile sequels--as well as some pleasant surprises that managed to sneak under the "awards show" radar.


It's this second group of games I'll be focusing on for this week's column. While pretty much every gaming site on the planet is releasing their annual "top 10 of the year" lists this week, I instead want to take a gander at some of the games that might not be receiving as much attention.


With so many stellar releases this year, it's hard to fault anyone for overlooking a few of these gems. So let's give it up for the little (relatively speaking) guys.

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Ten Slimiest Politicians in Video Games: Part 2

Tuesday, January 3, 2012 at 2:00 pm
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Because gamers need to know if their politicians are crooks.

Welcome to 2012, everyone! We hope you've had a nice two days of recovering from the furious hangover with which you invariably ushered in this new year, but now it's time to get down to business. CAUCUS BUSINESS.

That's right, people. It's time to huddle together in mobs and talk loudly about who we would like to be president. It's the 2012 Iowa Caucuses today. The outcome of these caucuses will be scientifically analyzed and a winner will be selected. This candidate will then go on emboldened by his (or her, but let's be honest, it's not going to be her) victory and then may or may not be immediately forgotten.

But while this event of clear national importance takes place in a state of dubious national importance, let us all -- Iowan and non-Iowan, American and non-American, the fervent among us as well as the apathetic -- yes, let us all ask the pressing questions about video games and the politicians within them. And let us be thankful that none of the figures mentioned below can be elected to any form of real-life office.

This is Ten Slimiest Politicians in Video Games: Part 2!

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Ten Slimiest Politicians in Video Games: Part 1

Tuesday, December 27, 2011 at 4:00 pm

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Press up on the D-pad to indict!

My friends, my fellow gamers, it's the most magical time of the year.

That's right. That magical time when people can smell the pine needles and the general lust for power in the air. That season where everyone seems nicer than usual, and those nice people show ads on your TV telling you exactly who wants to destroy America. It's that wondrous, festive time when folks wait with bated breath to see if Santa's left them the most precious gift of all: a functioning democracy.

It's primary season! In a little over a week the ponderous, silly wheels of American presidential politics will begin their quadrennial trundle down the hillside of freedom -- beginning with Iowa's caucuses on January 3rd.

So, in honor of another cycle, we're compiling a list of ten of the slimiest politicians in video game history. They take bribes, they kill for influence, and sometimes they are actually huge monsters taking a human form simply for convenience (OLD GAME SPOILERS AHEAD). But whatever their deal, you wouldn't want them in the Oval Office.

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Five Underrated Narratives Of 2011 That You Can't Miss

Wednesday, December 21, 2011 at 1:00 pm
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This year will go down in history as one of the biggest ever in video game history. It'll be known for the three month period where a dozen giants all fought one another at the top of a mountain of cash, battling it out for supremacy over the eager masses. It'll be known for sending the surging entertainment medium even further above the rest. 

But, even more than popularity, it deserves to be recognized as a momentous year in video game storytelling. A few notable games have risen to a high level of critical and commercial success that will ensure their legacy sticks around for a while -- stories told through the video game medium that are complex and robust on a level that we don't see often at all. Portal 2, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Uncharted 3. Those games have brilliance in them, and are rewarded handsomely for their achievements due to robust marketing campaigns, a lot of high-profile coverage, and enthusiastic fan bases.

However, there have been some smaller games that have come out this year that aren't getting the kind of recognition they deserve. Recently, we've been able to rely on independent developers and international creations to push video games forward as a narrative medium. This year is no different, except that it is more laden with diverse stories than in years past, and we're able to experience strange, dark, beautiful tales of all sorts. For your viewing pleasure, I've put together a short list of those games that may have slipped under the radar. Games that will stir you with story.

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Bad Gift Guide - Five Recommendations

Wednesday, November 30, 2011 at 4:00 pm
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Just like my uncle who gives me an XXXL Harley Davidson shirt  and lottery tickets every Christmas, some of your friends and family deserve weird, bad and downright horrible gifts for the holidays. So, as a gamer, you can exact revenge by offering some of the worst video games of 2011. Check out our ideas, and be sure to offer yours. 

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Ten Video Game Characters We'd Like to Have a Beer With

Tuesday, November 29, 2011 at 1:00 pm

 

 

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I AM BECOME BEER, ARBITER OF MEN

As a rubric for determining the worths of all types of people, the old "would I like to have a beer with them" test reigns supreme. We hear this question posed across the spectrum of American discourse, from politics ("Sure, he's clearly the better candidate and the other guy keeps confusing Austria with Australia... but would I want to get a beer with him?") to establishing friendships ("She's smart, funny... but aloof.  Do I want to get a beer with her?") to philosophy ("So, class, Plato's point was that if you were the owner of the Ring of Gyges, you could have a beer with anyone in the world without consequence... but would it be just?"). We may be paraphrasing Plato slightly here.

The point is that "would I like to have a beer with this person" has become, in our culture, synonymous with "do I like this person on an instinctual level."

We've all heard the "most influential" or "baddest-assed" lists compiled of video game characters. But why not apply the all-important "get a beer with" test to these same characters? It's an almost completely original idea! So here it goes -- ten video game characters we'd like to have a beer with. 

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Five Things We Hope to Learn from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Tuesday, November 8, 2011 at 10:00 am


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The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim -- putting the "fan" back in "fantasy."

Oedipus has survived for millenia as a dramatic figure, because the story of his life is so compelling. In Oedipus's search for a cure to the plague of Thebes, we see our own compulsion to uproot the evil and misery in life. In Oedipus's discovery of the horrible truth that he killed his own father (ANCIENT GREEK THEATRE SPOILER ALERT), we recall every time we've accidentally brought ruin upon ourselves. And when Oedipus leaves town, once a beloved king, now a blind exile, we recognize that even the mighty may fall.

As a gamer, the Nintendo 64 Kid holds a similar place in my psyche -- he is an archetype, a figure who reflects my own thoughts, emotions and dreams. When I see N64 Kid's complete rapturous meltdown because he's received a gaming system, I understand the yardstick by which my excitement about future video game releases can be measured.

I was pretty stoked about LA Noire, maybe 0.4 N64Ks (if one N64K denotes a level of excitement equal to that of Nintendo 64 Kid). And I clocked in at about 0.65 N64Ks in the days leading up to the release of Deus Ex: Human Revolution. But I think now I may be approaching 0.8, 0.9 N64Ks of exhiliration... I may even pull a full-on 1.0.

Guys, I'm really excited for Skyrim. And I'm not alone -- fans and reviewers not lucky enough to have snagged an advance look at Bethesda's newest Action-RPG smorgasbord are wildly speculating about what the game will be like. And so, here's my own speculation -- five things that, Nine Divines willing, we will learn from Skyrim.

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