The 3DS Marriage Proposal

Tuesday, March 6, 2012 at 12:00 pm

This is pretty cute, so we had to share. A gentleman by the name of Don sent this our way, demoing how he used his 3DS to propose to his girlfriend. 

She said yes, by the way. 
Tags: 3ds, proposal

Gamers, What's Your Interest in Pinterest?

Monday, March 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Video games pinned down on social network Pinterest.
I'll admit that I dug out my Pinterest invite from my email so I could write this post. Before last night, I had no intentions to use it, simply because I didn't want to add to my laundry list of social networks.

I think I'll keep my account active, though. Super-easy to use and sync with Twitter, Pinterest is a network of virtual pinboards that "lets you organize and share all the beautiful things you find on the web."  And fortunately, video games evoke lots of beautiful things, including fan art, mashups, indie tees and screenshots.

All of those things are being pinned by the network's community, or pinners.

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Skyrim's Unnecessary Bleeping Makes Me Bleeping Laugh

Friday, February 24, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Yeah, we've seen the Count from Sesame Street do this before. It is a very simple trick, but so so good. Sometimes it works perfectly. This is one of those times.

I implore you to check it out. And click through at the end because there's a lot more Unnecessary Censorship where this comes from. And you'll bleep until you bleep your bleeping pants until you die from bleep-loss. 

Word to the Normal Difficulty crew for making me real happy.

Here's A Nutso Gone-Viral Battlefield 3 Jet Swap

Tuesday, February 21, 2012 at 1:00 pm

In all honesty, Battlefield 3 is collecting dust in my cabinet, and has been for a long time. (But Modern Warfare's box is currently keeping level a janky old table... so who really won that battle?) Bottom line: I haven't played a first-person shooter in a very long time.

I do get my head 'sploded from these sorts of videos though. And here's why:

I'm pretty good a video games. I generally retain positive Kill/Death spreads in shooters, and enjoy successful missions where I'm able to help with "teamwork" to achieve a certain regular occurrence called "victory." I am, however, not even close to people like this, skill-wise. Not ever going to be in their league. AKA I'm never going to have a viral video of me doing something awesome. I don't know anyone this good and I never will. And while I'm personally OK with that, my jaw gets unhinged when it sees wild shit like this video here. PS. HEADSHOT.

Here's Waiting For Godot: The Video Game

Wednesday, February 15, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Yep, Samuel Beckett's short absurdist play has been made into a video game. If you've read Waiting for Godot, the premise of this game alone is kind of hilarious (ah, as... you know... nothing actually happens except for some folly and arguing. Sorry. Spoiler alert). If you've never read it, you'll find this to be real stupid.

Here's the link to the site, where you can download the full game. On your journey, you'll learn a little bit about what is likely the most influential play of the past hundred years.

We're Joystick Division, and we're devoted to bringing you Philistines from the cultural dark ages into the now and making you into well-rounded, renaissance adults.

[Kudos to Omnivoracious for the vid. And to VectorBelly for the concept/execution.]

O Meta Knight Is Like A Christmas Present From Your Aunt

Monday, February 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm

You know that peculiar aunt -- everyone has one -- the kind who always forgets to send Christmas presents until mid-February and when they arrive you're a little leery because they are pretty obviously a re-gifted reject of a stocking stuffer? Like a mug. Or a "You Might Be A Redneck" 365-page daily calendar. 

This video called O Meta Knight is a gift like that. It is a live-action video (with hints of animation) about a yuletide Kirby character, a couple jokes, and not much else. But I'm posting it for you Kirby fans out there. Because some people really like "You Might Be A Redneck" jokes, and everyone uses mugs. Right?

(Source: Destructoid. Yes, I am giving them credit for this gem. And kudos to Random Encounters, for making it.)

Infographic: HTML5 Games Vs. Flash Games

Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 10:00 am
Via our pal Greg Voakes and

HTML5 vs Flash Games
Created by: One More Level

A Couple Skyrim Subplots I Created Jointly With Bethesda

Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 2:00 pm
Skyrim: providing a limited -- yet intriguing -- chance for player creation of odd subplots.

I know there's been a lot of talk here recently about both Skyrim and storytelling in games. And it's not my intention to beat a dead horse.

(Though I'm getting used to horse carnage. If you play Skyrim like I do, there is a lot of equine collateral damage. I treat my horse like it is a mountain goat and can hop from cliff to cliff with ease, which is not always the case.)

Thing is, Skyrim ranked ninth in Joystick Division's recent best-of list on game narratives of 2011. The reason cited for its inclusion on the list wasn't that its main quest was more inventive, compelling or fresh than other games, but that given the breadth of choice that the player is afforded concerning his or her adventures as Dovahkiin, there are myriad routes the story can take in any given play-through.

Since getting the game from a friend, I've been diving into it every chance I get. And, to be sure, I'm excited by the possibilities of Skyrim. But do my actions really interact with Bethesda's meticulously detailed world in such a way that actual, identifiable subplots are created?

Following are a couple subplots that have emerged through my thirty hours of gameplay thus far -- subplots that I've created as much as the game has. Sometimes these are created more by the programming and sometimes they're made more by my imagination based on subtle hints from the game. But they were both delightful little reminders of the continuing advancement of open-world games and also the human ability to cobble together a story out of even loosely connected elements. Here they are (mild spoilers ahead):

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"Hi," From The Two Sternest Motherfuckers You Know

Friday, January 27, 2012 at 9:00 am
This is Joystick Division columnist Aaron Matteson (left) and me (right). What you see here is a picture of us getting wasted together in celebration at a bar in Brooklyn, just after a series best-of-5 round of foosball. See, Brooklyn where he lives, and where I'm visiting right now. (Big deal, since I live in Seattle.) And this is the 2nd anniversary of my first column on the site -- now 1,153 articles later.

So, Aaron and I have been close friends and collaborative writers since about 2004, a year or so before we graduated high school together. You may know him from our brilliant Five Things weekly editorial. While we've been writing for Joystick Division for about 18 months together, this is the first time we've documented it and felt compelled to reach out to everyone and say "thank you" for being our followers and for reading our columns for such a long time. The consensus tonight, in all of this stupor, is that this website and the writers within it work hard to put out content for you to adhere to. And we love it to our very cores. And we love you.

That said, "Hi, there!" You marvelous, wonderful people. We look forward to all that's there in the future, and to what we can achieve together. 

No Xbox 360 Controller Is Complete Without A Hot Pocket Holster

Wednesday, January 25, 2012 at 9:30 am


I say holster, because it steadies and readies that shit like a gun.

I don't have much more to say, except that I told you a few days ago I would be delivering news more and more frequently. And, if you're the kind of gamer that would've fit the stereotype in 1999, this shit is news to you. (Made by Ben Heck. Please fast-forward to the last two minutes if you want to see it completed and working. Before that, its just DIY.)