If you've ever had a college roommate, you know learning to live with another person can be tough. Here you are, just trying to get through your classes and maybe get with your girlfriend, while your roommate is busy coating the floor with purple goo, stealing your Vespene gas from the fridge to spawn some "bros" to pound some "brewskies" with, inviting his Overlord buddies over to peek inside your window, infecting your girlfriend and R.A. so they worship the Overmind and burrowing away when you try to confront him.
You did room with a Zergling in college, right? Oh. Well, if you didn't you can relive the horror vicariously through the excellent College Humor video after the break.
Even if the Batman: The Brave and the Bold video game for the Wii and DS ends up being an awful, cookie-cutter brawler (and odds are that it will), its existence will still be utterly justified. Why? Because the game's creation led to the creation of this animated trailer, which features what we're relatively sure is the first ever footage of Batman playing the Wii.
The trailer, which was obviously created by the same animation team behind the long-running Brave and The Bold TV show, doesn't just sell the game, though. We actually learn some important things about the Dark Knight in the three-minute video. For one, he has absolutely no patience for button mashers (obviously). For another, he apparently trains with video games on the off chance that those skills will be useful in his crime-fighting duties. As Bats puts it, "I make it a point to prepare for all possible contingencies."
Still, near the end of the video, when Batman refuses to admit that he enjoyed playing the game, we had to wonder: Is it because such an admission would be out of character for the notoriously grim crime-fighter, or because the game was... you know... not fun. As far as we're concerned, it's even odds either way.
Marvel Vs. Capcom still has surreal moments, pitting, say, Iron Man against Ryu or Magneto against Dhalism. Mortal Kombat Vs. DC Universe is an odd yet addictive crossover, too, because Scorpion can incinerate Batman, Supes, and Wonder Woman.
But the weirdest fighting game crossovers aren't sanctioned. Not at all. They come from the fantasies of game designers using MUGEN, a freeware game engine. Consider it the root cause of all this beautiful randomness. Here are 10 completely strange, completely unofficial fighting game crossovers that are worth checking out (and downloading if you're savvy).
Gesture-based gaming is about to come to two new consoles, and you know what that means: more broken stuff due to random flailing of limbs!
The PlayStation Move and Microsoft Kinect are bound to come with plenty of warning illustrations on how not to use the devices, but they'll be boring. These warnings, however, are not.
The following Move warnings are not fan art - they were actually produced by Sony as swag at a recent Move event. And they're hilarious. Well played, Sony.
Y'see, because the below video shows a conversation between a couple of characters in the Mafia II demo. And they're both voiced by prolific video game voice actor Nolan North. And that's "too many." And "Too" sounds like the "two" in "Mafia Two," when you say it out loud. OK, you know what? You just don't appreciate good headline writing, that's what it is.
Anyway, we're not sure what's more embarrassing about this clip: the weirdness of two identical-sounding characters talking to each other; or the awkward pauses, disjointed body language and lack of mouth movement on display by both of them. Hopefully both will be fixed by the time the full game hits stores Aug. 27.
If you're like most gamers, you have a closet somewhere in your house full of fake plastic instruments. One day, you will likely have to clean out that closet. Maybe you'll donate the plastic instruments to charity. Maybe you'll arrange them into tasteful modern art objects. Maybe you'll simply throw them out.
Whatever method of plastic instrument disposal you choose, though, I can almost guarantee it will not be nearly as cool as this one.
This over-the-top volcanic desctruction has been brought to us by Seven45 Studios, makers of Power Gig: Rise of the Six String, a.k.a. "that game that lets you play with a real six string guitar," a.k.a. "that game that sounded a lot more appealing before Rock Band 3 promised to do the exact same thing." Regardless, if they keep pulling off PR stunts like this, we'll be happy to give more attention to their upstart rhythm game.
Two World's baddie can't deal with how bad his game was
SouthPeak Interactive is continuing with its ballsy marketing plan for Two Worlds II, which focuses largely on admitting how bad the original game was.
The publisher has released the third chapter in the "Sordahon's Journey" video series, which takes the original game's bad guy and basically mocks the crap out of him. At least, we think he's the bad guy. Honestly, like a lot of you, we stayed far away from the first game, so we can't really be sure.
Check out the first two videos right here. When you're done, check out the new one below. Honestly, they're all pretty damn funny.
It's kind of amazing how many universal "Oregon Trail" references the team at Half Day Today managed to pack in to this hilarious fake Oregon Trail movie trailer. From the fact that no one wants to be the carpenter to the fact that everyone buys too many bullets at the beginning to the all-too-common character named "Poopface," it's all in there. They even managed to throw in a classy dysentery reference for good measure!
But there is one moment in this fake trailer that threatens to ruin the nostalgic fun. It comes at around 1:20 in the video, when the father says that they can only carry back ten pounds of meat from the 1,400 gathered in a hunting expedition. Everyone knows that you can actually carry back 100 pounds of meat per hunt (or 200 pounds if you're playing the early '90s Windows remake).
What? You say not everyone knows that? You say we're incredibly nerdy for knowing that? Why thank you!
So you know how sometimes you're riding the subway, minding your own business, and suddenly you can't help but overhear a conversation between two incredibly pretentious-sounding guys sitting behind you, going on and on about their latest thrift store finds and their fixed gear bikes and and their just-released Apple products and their disappointment at how mainstream all their favorite bands are getting until, after listening to this for like fifteen minutes, you just want to turn around and yell at these assholes to get the fuck over themselves and shut the hell up!
Well, I'd think twice before doing that. Because, if those hipsters are anything like these hipsters, it might be the last thing you ever do.
It's hard to pick favorites, but here are the five sex-related Pokemon puns (poke-puns? pun-keman?) from the below rap that we're going to try to work into everyday foreplay:
"...now I'm ready to Cubone"
"...tonight she's just rhyhorn-y"
"But that was before I knew your Diglett was so Dragtini!"
"Since I had to Staryu, you have to Starmie"
"I thought I had been charmin' her" (say it slowly)
Pick your favorite from the lyrics, or listen for yourself after the break.
Sunday Night Starcraft: Because the underdog always wins!
A fallen champion returns to the competition that he swore he'd never compete in again after a tragic loss.
You've probably seen a few dozen movies just like that before, and the creators of Sunday Night Starcraft are well aware of that. The creators of this fake gaming movie used the tropes of the sports movie genre to make a trailer for a non-existent film that looks like it could actually work on screen.
"Dead Panda Comedy" have done some nice work on their Sunday Night Starcraft trailer, and wouldn't you know it, you can check it out right here!
Think video games are too hard? Then you might be interested in the "Super Easy Mode" that College Humor has envisioned for some classic and newer video games.
In the video below, you'll see their vision of what these games might look like with the difficulty scaled down. Plenty of old favorites are represented, although our favorite one just might be the new gameplay option added to Wii Fit Plus. Head below to watch the video and see what we mean.
A product for men who love both games and sex, and can't handle keeping the two completely segregated. This cardboard Game Boy contains six video game themed cartridge condoms, and offers the variety that is essential for any true sexual deviant.
-The Long End of Zelda: Ribbed for her pleasure
-Dong: Heat
-Bone Zone 2: Tingle
-Super Mario Land of Love: Thin
-Sextris: X Safe
-Donkey Shlong: Magnum sized
Each "cartridge" is covered in the appropriate box art for each title, and can be found after the break. If you're one of the few nerds fortunate enough to be strapping any of these on for something other than masturbation, well I salute you, and you need to send me an email of how the hell you managed to do it.
Yesterday, our good buddies at Topless Robot posted a video of a guy singing every part of the Pokemon theme song A Capella. It takes a special devotion to undertake this type of project, so naturally, we're impressed!
Inspired by this courageous act of nerdery, we decided to find more fantastic vocal performances of video game theme songs.
The following five videos are our picks for our favorite A Capella video game theme songs. The Pokemon guy made the list. Find out who else did below!
Yes, I know this Threadless t-shirt design is old, but I just saw it today. Besides, it's awesome, so it really can't hurt to give it a little extra attention, right?
You can buy this design on a t-shirt in various comfy sizes here.
Who wants to see a World of WarCraft player get very, very angry? Then check out the video above. We have to assume that the fella in the foreground changed his password, knowing exactly what kind of reaction he'd get. Not surprisingly, that reaction is full of loud swears.
A few weeks ago Derek Littlejohn was fired from GameStop, apparently for remarks he made to a journalist on Japanese rape sim RapeLay. Granted, his remarks were a little ridiculous (speculating RapeLay exists because Japanese people are sexually repressed), but saying something dopey can't possibly be a termination-worthy offense at GameStop. There wouldn't be anyone left to run the company!
So we got curious: Is getting fired from GameStop for saying the wrong thing a common occurrence? To find out, we sent out a whole team of seasoned journalists to GameStops nationwide to listen in on employees' conversations, publish everything they heard, and then see who got fired. Here were the top termination-worthy remarks:
I think this is all the proof you need that video games are a major problem in today's world. ESRB ratings may be the only thing keeping society safe from banana peel-throwing menaces!
BATON ROUGE - Video game developer and publisher Capcom announced the costly and damaging Louisiana oil spill was "...a poorly planned marketing attempt" in a press conference Wednesday morning that left all in attendance in either stunned silence or overwhelmed by near-violent outrage.
The spill is perhaps the worst disaster since the Exxon Valdez, and "...actually approaches the level of tragedy that was that last Bionic Commando game," remarked Chris Ward, representative for the Environmental Protection Agency.
According to Capcom's Community Manager Seth Killian, Capcom approached BP early in April to see if they'd be interested in helping promote the release of Super Street Fighter IV - which includes new character Hakan, a Turkish oil wrestler - "in a bold, exciting new way. Something really unprecedented. And they were amenable to it."
"Um... well look, it was a bad idea," said Killian at the press conference. "I mean, it was a good idea, it just didn't work the way we expected it to. It needed a second look."
Killian claims the PR intern who proposed the spill has been reprimanded, and closed the conference with an announcement that Super Street Fighter IV has shipped 1 million copies.
"What's amazing is that isn't even the right kind of oil," remarked Joystick Division editor J. Matthew Zoss after the announcement. "Doesn't Hakan use olive oil or some... I'm not even understanding what I just heard. Is this for real? Can you give me a minute? I need to just... lie down or something."
Note: Joystick Division acquired this letter from the Occupational Safety and Health Administration from a source who was paid for the information with gold coins. It lists a number of violations against the Video Game Industrial Properties, Inc (VGIP), a holding company that owns factories within several popular video games.The letter details the many, many safety violations of such environments.
U.S. Department
of Labor Occupational Safety and Health Administration
Arizona, my home state, has been making news lately - alas, not for our rugged and beautiful natural landscape, our amazing hotels and dining options, or even our uncommonly great freelance game bloggers. No, it's been for advancing wacky far-right political causes.
While other concerned citizens were protesting at the capital, I decided to pull some Arizona legislators aside and ask them: What would they do if they got a chance to pass bills on gaming?
The retro-looking rip-off homage to Legend of Zelda, 3D Dot Game Heroes, lets players build their own avatars (3D) pixel by (3D) pixel - so it was only a matter of time before someone went ahead and recreated Link circa 1986.
Master statistician and bator Gary Hodges couldn't help but wonder what other inevitable, painfully obvious player creations we'll see when 3D Dot Game Heroes hits next month. And rather than wait to find out, he jumped in the Joystick Division time machine and saw for himself! Behold his findings... from the future!
Pollster and statistician Gary Hodges is enamored of his brand-new bronze DSi XL, and delighted to see all his favorite games bigger than ever. And as always, you can see this graph 'bigger than ever' just by clicking on it - oh ho-ho-ho, now that's a segue! I'm ready to be an anchorman at the local news!
There are games with bad box art on every console, but the Wii has by far the most terrible game covers. That's because both Microsoft and Sony have stricter controls over game concepts and cover art than Nintendo - it's therefore much easier to release a slapped-together, low-budget game on the Wii than the other two consoles. And with low-budget games comes low-budget box art.
These 15 games are just some of the shamefully bad game boxes out there. I'm not making any comment of the games themselves - I haven't played a single one. I'm just here to mock the cover art. Your first entrant, My Ballet Studio, is above. Read on for the next 14 embarrassing pieces of cover art crud.
God of War III raises fascinating and complex theological issues*. Once again, intrepid pollster Gary Hodges asks the hard questions, gets harder answers, and then reorganizes them into easy-to-understand infographic form. Where would we be without him?
Hello, what's this? It seems some copies of God of War III shipped with a breakdown of the game's nutritional value! Yes, really. Yes really. Yes really.
(Click to embiggen.)
Oh alright I'm lying. Good job cracking the case there, Chief No-Fun of the Inowannas.
Joystick Division (and just about every other gaming news outlet) was buzzing about the firing of Infinity Ward executives Jason West and Vince Zampella last week, especially Activision's mysterious charge of "insubordination". We had to wonder: What is insubordination at Activision, and how often are people fired for it?
Intrepid reporter Gary Hodges asked the hard questions, but what were the answers? I'll bet they're surprising! (Click to embiggen.)
MINNEAPOLIS - Hot on the
heels of revelations that Apple Inc. used child labor in its manufacturing
plants overseas, equally damning charges have been leveled against Village
Voice Media for having exploited manchild labor at gaming blog Joystick
Division.
"No comment," said
Joystick Division's editor, a harried-looking J. M. Zoss, as he hurried from
his palatial estate into a waiting limousine. "Talk to my attorneys. Talk to my
attorneys."
Mr. Zoss may not be
talking, but evidence revealed so far is hard to refute. According to
testimony from current and former Joystick Division writers, the game blog has
knowingly used manchild labor since the beginning.
Back in November 2009, a couple of cool things happened: while currently enjoying my new position as Editor-in-Chief at GirlGamer, I was fortunate enough to be selected to join the fraternity known as Xbox Gamer Spotlight.
And as per tradition since 2003, I was interviewed by the one and only Trixie360.
After a couple of months, a 24 hour Xbox suspension (yep. the week after I was in Gamer Spotlight, I got a 24 suspension for having the word "S**t" in my bio. LOLZ), and about 250 requests for my 'autograph' (because she told the kids to ask me for one) it's time for me to interro- I mean, "interview" my dear friend for some revenge...did I say 'revenge'? I mean, 'catch up'. Heh heh.
Birds do it. Bees do it. Hell, even The Simpsons do
it. When it comes to video games, everybody teabags.
What is Teabagging?
Teabagging occurs when you kill a player then crouch over his head
up while jumping up and down as a final 'eat it, jerk!' move and especially
enjoyed if the "victim" is a total friendly fire d-bag, grenade
spammer, spawn killer, or for any other odd number of reasons. Most teabagging
takes up residency in games like Halo, Wolfenstein, Left 4 Dead, Grand Theft
Auto, Metal Gear Solid, etc, etc, and so forth...pretty much any game where
your character can crouch.
No one is immune from teabagging. In fact, if a celebrity is
discovered in a room during multiplayer gameplay you can almost GUARANTEE
they'll be the target. If anyone could get the jump on Halo 3: ODST's
Nathan Fillion in-game, oh man... I shudder to think of the violations that
guy's avatar would go through (but I'm sure he doles out his fair share of
'bags' as well)!
Last week I attended the Dante's Inferno Launch Party at Dragonfly here in Hollywood. So let's start with the good stuff: a Seven Deadly Sins themed burlesque show.
Why didn't I interview anyone from the game? Hey, it would've been nice to talk to a developer, producer, voice actor, ANYONE but guess what? None of them were there. I would think if there was a product you spent the better part of a couple years working on, you'd want to celebrate its completion and subsequent release to the world, right? I mean, am I wrong?
Dante's Inferno has finally arrived, and, well... it's not good, people. But come on, how could anyone really be surprised? When the
best you can come up with in a game version of one of the greatest literary
works of all time is: "The player will sew a cross to his chest and beat
the shit out of demons - oh, and there'll be tits!", even the most
forgiving gamer has to roll his eyes.
This doesn't mean Dante's Inferno won't be successful. It might even do well - why wouldn't it? I refer you
to Paragraph 1: Demon-Punching, and Tits. You'd have to be pretty new to this to underestimate the appeal of either. In fact, Dante's Inferno could even be
so successful that we'll not only get a sequel (an appalling enough notion),
but EA and other publishers will start looking at other literary classics to
shit all over with a derivative, dopey game.
And
there are so many great books that could make for a laughable game if we follow the Inferno model, slashing 95% of what made them great and then fornicating on top of the 5% we kept. Let me
show you how it's done.
With the release of Dante's Inferno today, February 9th and
subsequent launch party (complete with burlesque dancers) tomorrow at L.A.'s Dragonfly Bar, it
seems like everybody's ready to be a sinner. If you're not familiar with the
premise of Dante's Inferno, players become Dante as he travels on an epic
descent through Dante Alighieri's nine circles of Hell - limbo, lust, gluttony,
greed, anger, heresy, violence, fraud and treachery.
Nine circles...hmm. We all say jokingly that '... will be my
personal hell', can you imagine having NINE personal hells?!
Okay, here's how I would see a few of MY nine circles:
I just discovered what MAG was a few weeks ago.This massive action game (get it, MAG?)
supports up to 256 gamers per game on the PlayStation Network.I play on the 360 almost exclusively, which
is why I only recently got the details of the game, and I've been contemplating
what it would be like on Live.
I have come to the conclusion that it would be too
stupid.Each game would contain about 240
more douchebags than I can handle.It
would never, ever, ever work on Live.I
can see the allure of it, the possibility of being able to play an organized, all-out
war and I want that.I want that
desperately.I would just want
less-idiotic comrades.But hey, maybe
that's one of the few places the PS3 has the Xbox 360 beat.Maybe they can handle it.Maybe I should buy a PS3 (only sort of
kidding, I have a tube TV).
Wouldn't it be cool if Avatar had a video game? Oh wait, it does. Well, wouldn't it be cool if it had a totally old-school video game? The bad-ass design mofo over at Penney Design thought so, and whipped up the box you see above. Check out the site for some other clever movie-to-retro-game boxes, which you can see here.
As a straight man,* I don't know a lot about Twilight. Of course, I exist in the present day, so I've picked up enough of it through osmosis that I know just enough to get the jokes in this video. Created by the folks at X-Play, the Twilight: Modern Combat trailer combines two popular franchises into one juggernaut that will destroy the world.
The seventh generation of game consoles has its answer to N64 Kid. Meet Xbox 360 Kid, who is very, very excited about his Christmas present.
The folks who uploaded this video must have seen the N64 Kid video. They egg their son on and use the same slo-mo as the original video. So perhaps it's not as organic as N64 Kid, but who cares? It's still funny.
Our buddies over at the Phoenix New Times has a fun list up this Christmas day that makes for some enjoyable holiday reading: Seven Video Game Predictions for 2010 and Beyond. It won't take you long to realize that this piece is parody, and there's some funny stuff there that most gamers should get a chuckle out of. Check it out and continue to enjoy your holiday!
This video is simply amazing, well executed, and hilarious. I can hear the real boss battle theme in my head while listening to it. What's even more impressive is it was supposedly created by a single person. Props to you MarzGurl, your a capella is spot on.
I really want to play some Sonic now, but I just bought GTA4 from Steam (sale) and am about to leave to visit family! What's a gamer to do in this situation, readers? I need your wisdom! Watch the video first though.
I'm trying my best to get with the festivities readers, so bear with me on my last work day before my vacation.
Starting today, Quake Live will allow players to skin their characters as "Festive Santa" or "Vixen" and access to a holiday themed map called Silent Night. Despite the fact that I suck terrible reindeer balls at Quake Live, I might have to sign onto my cobweb-ridden account to play as Santa and reign terror on the Vixens of id's free-to-play FPS.
The festive features will be available for the next two weeks, so get your Santa on as long as you can.
GoNintendo's cute correspondent, Rinry, has a sweet video for all gamers with a taste for knowledge, but lack the attention span to properly read a long feature. In this video, Rinry will take us through some of the strange video game box arts that came out in the 8 and 16-bit era.
She also goes in-depth on the subject, questioning the strange tactics of game publishers in their choices of box arts in the early days of gaming. Now you can go tell your gamer friends something that will make them feel intellectually inferior to you.
The infamous punch by high school gym teacher, Brad Ferro to the face of local big mouth, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, in a teaser clip for MTV's Jersey Shore has been making rounds online for the past two weeks.
While Brad may be trying to forget the incident and claim he had no clue who he was hitting, groups like the Green River Thrillers are looking to cement his act of random violence into history their way. And what better way to do that than through a video game parody. Not just any video game parody, a Street Fighter parody. Now all we need is a flash game to go along with it. MTV also needs to go back to music videos.
I can't help but laugh at the silliness that is this trailer. On the other hand, I can't help but get excited for this game. It may be a Mario Kart rip-off, but it looks fun as hell. Gold Sonic, Ryo driving a forklift, Super Monkey Ball, it's all there. Not only that, but it's not limited to just the Wii and DS like Mario Kart.
And for someone like me who has slowly began to suck more and more at realistic driving games like Gran Turismo and Forza and hates playing Wii games on an HDTV, this game can't come any sooner.
At least that's what I'm guessing Xbox Live Community Coordinator, DMZilla said to his mother just before visiting his favorite tattoo parlor to forever ink himself with a lancer.
One of two things happened here: Microsoft really wanted to do some guerrilla marketing for the Gears of War franchise or DMZilla lost a bet to Cliffy B. It was probably Cliffy B; that sly devil. Or he could just be a giant Gears fan? Nope.
When you're Mario, deciding to what to wear in the morning is crucial to your day's success. He may not be a doctor, but dressing like one will make him more respectable. While dressing like a plumber will simply make people want him to fix their toilets.
Also, this image can be on a t-shirt if you go to Split Reason and vote it up! Come on people, do it! (I've already voted 17 times)
I have a love/hate relationship with these video game parody videos. On the love side, the high quality, well produced videos are normally hilarious and enjoyable (like this one). On the hate side, I can't help but be insulted by someone making a mockery of something I love (in this case, Left 4 Dead 2). Nonetheless, the 3 minutes I paused my Lady Gaga playlist in iTunes to watch this video made those moments without Lady Gaga in my life well worth it.
Gonna grab some heroin, BRB. In my absence, enjoy the video:
In hopes of one day turning the world into a giant Final Fantasy side-story, Square-Enix has unveiled their own currency. Dubbed "Crysta", the currency is currently only virtual and is only available for use in certain online games and to purchase soundtracks in the Square-Enix store.
No doubt the Crysta will take off in Japan (the only country it's currently available) and will launch in other countries. Eventually, we will all abandon our established and boring currency for Square-Enix's brilliant Crysta.
Will wallets become obsolete in a Crysta future and will we use pouches in their place? Give me your opinions in the comments.
Honestly, who would have ever thought a Wii commercial could truly be funny? We've all laughed at them -- like we laugh at the kid who gets picked last for dodgeball (Anton).
But, this commercial is different. I didn't laugh at Nintendo's attempt to market their console to a new demographic of gamers. I actually laughed at the contents of the commercial.
I've been playing a lot of Modern Warfare 2 lately. A lot. Too much, in fact. I'm not normally a big multiplayer guy, but for some reason MW2 has really clicked with me. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at it. Oh, I've had the odd match where I did really well and got a nine-kill streak, but more often I'm finishing in the bottom of the bracket. But I'm a benevolent game writer guy, so I like to think of ways my personal tragedies can help you folks out there.
Here's my list of my top excuses for sucking at Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Feel free to use them as you see fit the next time you're wiped out by a predator missile.
I never could have imagined a game like Doom could actually look cute, but this mod really does. It's a bunch of little blue guys running around trying to kill each other in a bloody free-for-all deathmatch throwing lemon drops at each other. This sort of video gives me hope for society. This is the product that will save us all.
And if you want to join in on the Rockman carnage, you can find a download link and instructions on the developer's site.
As for the gameplay, you can check it out below (after the jump):
Oh look, they put a little suit on it! Why does he look so serious? I'm a little scared now.
You can freak people out just like that if you purchase the Assassin's Creed II Ezio costume for your sackboy in LittleBigPlanet. After all, it's way better than purchasing a pet for your Xbox avatar. More intimidating too. There's nothing intimidating about a dog in a purse. Your friends will just think you're weird.
Available for $1.99 at a LittleBigPlanet near you.
You've probably heard of Evony. If you haven't heard of it, you've probably seen it. And if you haven't heard of it or seen it, you probably don't use the internet very often. If that's the case, it's safer that you don't because if you did, you'd be susceptible to Evony's scams.
Well, Destructoid has found out that someone out there who has heard of Evony has brilliantly parodied what a TV commercial would be like if the company behind the game ever officially created one. It's quite accurate with the random shots of boobs and talk of scamming you. Check it out below (after the jump):
I received some pretty negative feedback after I criticized the UK judge who skipped work to play Modern Warfare 2. And while I stick to my original opinion, I have nothing but laughs for this short little Japanese TV spot for Final Fantasy XIII that depicts a teacher announcing he will be taking time off [to play the game].
Translated, the script is as follows:
Teacher: It's sudden, but starting tomorrow I'm taking time off.
Girl (standing): Why are you taking time off?
Teacher(to himself): For three years, I've been waiting for this day...
No doubt the teacher will need to take off for a while in order to finish Final Fantasy XIII in its entirety as Kotaku's Brian Ashcraft pointed out (also, thanks for the translation).
You can check out the video below (after the jump):
There is no questioning the fact that many gamers often lose a grip on reality when playing games, but once the game is off, reality comes back. That's not the case for a man called Sal9000 who has officially married his virtual girlfriend. No, not his internet girlfriend who he met in real life after chatting online and instantly fell in love, but an actual virtual girl.
The girl's name is Nene Anegasaki and she lives in the Nintendo DS game, Love Plus, which is a dating simulator. Those types of games are quite the rage in Japan, but this takes the simulation to a whole new level -- real life.
Whether or not this is an elaborate marketing scheme really doesn't matter anymore because the fact that an actual wedding was orchestrated takes the joke way too far.
I think our buddy Rob Bricken over at our sister blog, Topless Robot, summed it up best in saying:
"The fact that this dude says he'll do anything for his new "bride" enrages me. When all that constitutes is changing the batteries once in a while wiping off the DS' dual screens after he humps it it's pretty easy to be a good husband."
Lisa Katayama from Boing Boing was able to capture some video of the event, you can check it out after the jump to hyperspace:
Somewhere out there, a young games developer is getting inspiration to create different themed versions of Space Invaders. My favorite would be a The Simpsons themed version. Can you imagine Homer shooting little Barts? With Carl as the mystery ship?! Props to Logan Walters for this awesome image.
The super secret code keeping the maximum number of Left 4 Dead 2 co-op players to four players has been cracked! The hack allows users to play the co-op campaign with up to 16 people. It is both glorious and horrendous. There is no doubt that this is specifically why Valve limited the numbers.
Although there's also no doubt that a mode or campaign built specifically to handle 16 players would be radically cool. Perhaps a Mall of America campaign? Food for modding thought.
Kotaku has taken a look at what the Left 4 Dead 2 boycott group was playing yesterday morning, just after the game's release.
I never cared to support the recent boycotts of Modern Warfare 2 or Left 4 Dead 2. The issues did not personal effect me and those who were complaining could simply continue playing the original. Instead they made the developers out to be terrible people.
As you can see in the image there's a nice mixture of Left 4 Dead 2, Modern Warfare 2, Team Fortress 2, and Counter-Strike Source being played by the first page result of boycotters.
Thank goodness they didn't capture me online. I would have caught some shit from my modder buddies.
The Onion has gotten their hands on the next iteration in the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare series. It's been revealed that this newest game, Modern Warfare 3 will finally give Call of Duty fans a true glimpse into real military life. This includes transporting supplies, debating with fellow soldiers, and cleaning the latrines.
The Wii version will come with a 17 pound M249 machine gun controller that needs to be held at all time, but can't be fired unless ordered. Check out the video below:
A Kotaku reader has found two trucks being used to advertise Left 4 Dead 2 in the Seattle area. These trucks obviously belong to the biggest Left 4 Dead fan ever...or Valve. I'm thinking Valve. At least that $25 million for marketing is being used creatively.
Portability be damned! (I'm assuming this is some sort of ad mocking the size of the DSi LL or an actual comparison between Japanese men and the handheld. I'd be afraid of that stylus if I were that guy though.)
I don't the origins of these Sega office pranks and frankly, I don't give a damn. What I do give a damn about is all the extra copies of Game Informer I have lying around my house. I've debated about setting up a small lemonade-type stand outside a GameStop and offering them up for five cents each, but then I realized that probably wouldn't go over too well. Now Sega has shown me an easy, fun, and cost efficient way to get rid of my old magazines. Anton's not going to be happy when he walks into the office later this morning.
This is not only great advertising, but could save Sony money because the games they don't sell can be disposed of properly without having to contract out.
Anyone who doesn't have a thick skin should never consider writing about video games. You may think that writing about a hobby would insulate you from personal attacks and hateful speech. You'd be wrong. Perhaps because gamers are so passionate about their chosen pastime, anything a games journalist writes has the potential to enrage gamers, leading to a deluge of hateful comments. After the jump are five things you can say and do that have a tendency to drive gamers absolutely batshit crazy.
Now, just in case this isn't absolutely clear, this article is humor. Even though I'm clearly stating that straight away, I'm sure this article about what pisses off gamers will end up, well.. pissing off some gamers.
Hey folks. We here at Joystick Division like to keep our readers in the loop on what happens behind the scenes. The other day at JD's secret underground base, David and I were polishing our monocles and eating caviar when the following conversation took place.
ME: Hey David, don't you think that we should stop polishing our monocles and eating caviar, at least for a little while? Maybe then we could review some games.
DAVID: Capital idea, old chum! Perhaps we should start with popular up-and-comers Batman and Wolfenstein. I hear those lads have new games available down at the apothecary.
ME: It shall be done, your Grace.
It may or may not have happened something like that. My point is that while you've probably seen reviews on both Batman: Arkham Asylum and Wolfenstein by now, you haven't read ours yet. But you will. Soon. Batman review coming early this week. Wolfenstein coming later. Stay tuned. Same Bat-Time, same Bat-Webpage.
I don't really expect clever advertising from video game companies. After all, why do you need a funny idea when you can show lots of clips of guns, violence or boobs? That said, when a game advertisement attempts humor, whether or not it actually succeeds in being funny. I have to admit that I like the direction Sony is taking in its new PS3 ad campaign - it's actually amusing and self-deprecating.
Of course, I don't want to lose my status as an accused Sony hater by admitting I actually like something they do, so let's balance the scales with one of their notoriously unsuccessful viral videos.
That's the translated tagline for this Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 commercial. Apparently, it's a parody of an ad campaign for shampoo that claims Japanese women are beautiful. I'd agree with the latter statement and disagree with the former. It's not Japanese women that are frightening, it's the entirety of the Japanese people. Here's proof:
Dual Spoiler Alert: The clip above contains spoilers for the trash-tacular vampire show True Blood. It also show gameplay footage of the upcoming Dead Space: Extraction. Don't watch if you don't want either the game or the show spoiled for you, and you certainly shouldn't watch if you don't want to see a terrible middle-aged actress pretend she knows how to play a game.
This is, by my count, the third time Wii has appeared on True Blood. Those vampires love casual gaming! Yes, I watch it.
Definitely one of the most hilarious and best produced movie trailer parodies I've seen. (I haven't see very many, but this one is good). If you don't get the title, then you won't get the video!
I think I'm the last one to hear about this one, but better late than never! Thanks to reader C.A. for the tip (I promise to check the Joystick Division email more often).
A group of young musicians in Seattle put on a show paying tribute to some of the their favorite tunes from video games. The funny performances by their back-up crew were choreographed by two of the musicians (Link and Ash).
Oh and when the guy stood up and started "ahhh"-ing to the Halo tune, I LOL'd. You will too:
I better not show this to my mother, she'll start nagging me about quitting band in 8th grade.
That's right, the Pure Pwnage boys have officially gotten their own show. As of now, it's eight episodes and will air sometime in 2010 on Showcase in Canada. So to any Canadian pirates out their: please do your best to distribute it out as quickly as possible to us lonely gamers to your south.
The series, which premieres in 2010, finds
Jeremy at a crossroads: if he is to maintain residence in his mother's
basement, then he'll need to get a job -- and getting a job means
stepping out of the gaming world and back into reality. With that in
mind, Jeremy starts his own rock band, becomes a video game tutor, and
attempts to socialize with his co-workers at a grocery store
So it looks like the show will not be a remake or spin-off of the web series, but will start fresh with a new story that is a little easier for the average viewer to take in.
*If you know what Pure Pwnage is, please skip the following paragraphs, collect $200 and check out the official video below. If not, we drop some knowledge on you below.*
For those unaware of Pure Pwnage (pronounced "Pure Ownage" for you console n00bs) , it's a web-based show about a guy named Jeremy, a hardcore gamer who thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread (or in his case Command & Conquer: Generals - Zero Hour). The show follows Jeremy doing his everyday thing, ya know? Like, pwning n00bs, stuff, and ya know...
It's shot (mostly) through the eyes (camera) of his younger brother Kyle who is in film school and is responsible for putting the show on the web and making Jeremy famous. For those non-gamers, the show probably seems boring, but for gamers (especially hardcore ones), the show is so amazing that the only word that can truly explain it is PWNAGE...bitches!
Have you ever said to yourself "I'm gonna wake up today and go poke a hornet's nest?" That's what I did yesterday with my Seven Best-Selling Games That Totally Suck feature. Despite saying in the very first sentence that I was trying to be obnoxious, some readers were very, very annoyed. Many were ticked off that I would dare slander one of their favorites, while others were more pissed by what I didn't include. Fortunately, many of you were kind enough to leave some calm, reasonable thoughts in the comments section. Yesterday, we learned what I hate. Today, we learn what you hate.
I haven't intentionally provoked the rage of the online gaming community for a while, so I figured I was about due. With that in mind, I'm proud to present my list of seven popular games that completely and utterly suck*. Enjoy. I know I will. Your outrage tastes like sweet, sweet wine.
*To be fair, some of these games don't completely blow, but still don't deserve the sales they got.
*WARNING: Princess Peach is loud in bed. If there are impressionable children, overprotective parents, or recovering sexaholics near you do them all a favor and wear headphones. Or at the very least, close and lock your door.*
No, eating mushrooms will not increase the size of your penis, but some are good for you.
Sometimes in games we encounter things we don't like. Walls, chocobos, annoying town folk are all examples of things we like to avoid. But in this too evolved world of online multiplayer, it's getting more and more difficult to avoid the things that grind our gears and still have a quality gaming experience. Some may be petty and seem unworthy, but we're out for the win; sorry Tyler.
Are you familiar with Killzone 2? Makes you hot, eh? I've got some PS3 hardware in the bedroom if you want to see it. Halo? I don't have a Halo! That's not my Halo! I don't even play Halo!
What do you do when your parents no longer entertain you and your long stories about video games? You prank call a radio show pretending to be one your favorite characters. However, in the case of this talented and knowledgeable Half-Life fan, he waited until he was old enough to sound as if he really was Gordon Freeman.
The prankster called in to a largely syndicated late night show full of conspiracy theorists called Coast-to-Coast AM about a problem with a pale, blue-suited man with seemingly no personality stalking him at his place of work (ya know, Black Mesa). The fake Gordon mentions that he and his colleagues call this man "the gman" because of the way he looks. The host of the show immediately plays the "HE MUST BE A FED" card and hilarity ensues!
If you follow the Machinima community, chances are you've heard of Freeman's Mind, a comedy series that gives you a glimpse into Gordon Freeman's inner most thoughts. The show follows Gordon as he progresses through the original Half-Life game with a narrator, Ross Scott, voicing over the gameplay. From the first episode, the show will draw you in with it's hilarious and perfectly timed dialogue. For those who are fans of Half-Life, it brings back fond memories and will no doubt leave you rolling on the floor afterwards, begging for more episodes.
This little guy is just awesome! He's got the pew-pew down pretty good and he looks great doing it. Props to the awesome parents and to whomever made the costume. Now all that's missing is a cute little girl to play Roll. Any fathers out there up for the challenge?
(If you're wondering what the second reason for Mega Man fans to have kids is, it's to procreate. The world can't get enough gamers!)
Attack of the Show has had its ups and downs on its way to 1000 episodes. Kevin Rose's departure and later Sarah Lane's departure were some sad moments for old-school TechTV fans. However, Olivia Munn's arrival marked a whole new era in the show's history; an era of hotness (which by the way is shown extremely well in this video). And since Olivia came to AOTS, some great moments have happened. I may not be able to recall them all, but I know many of them involved her and that's all that matters to me (and many of you as well...probably).
This video below was made to celebrate those 1000 episodes (and Olivia Munn). It's a special made music video of a song by Parry Gripp of Nerf Herder called "The Girl at The Video Store". Need I say more? No, watch! (after the jump)
Okay, so this video really has very, very little to do with gaming. There's a Guitar Hero controller in it, and that's about it. it's hilarious, so you should watch it. But think about this: Only a few short years ago, only hardcore gamers would recognize a Guitar Hero controller if it appeared in a late night skit. Now you've got them appearing as props on Craig Ferguson and Jimmy Fallon demoing Project Natal on his show. It's happening whether you like it or not, folks. Gaming is going mainstream.
According to a wonderfully organized survey by GamePlan Insights (a game tracking service), 50% fewer people recognize the name "Modern Warfare 2" after you remove "Call of Duty" from it. This is a huge difference and shows how amazingly observant people are and how recongizeable the Call of Duty franchise is nowadays.
While you're waiting for me to get my 360 fixed so I can post my reviews, here's Cnet's Dan Ackerman on the differences between Infamous and Prototype, in handy chart form.
Infamous vs.
Prototype
Infamous
Prototype
NYC-inspired open city environment
Yes
Yes
Mysterious terrorist attack causes military to seal off
the city
Yes
Yes
General chaos in streets/breakdown of public order
Yes
Yes
Protagonist searching for answers as to why he suddenly
has superpowers
Yes
Yes
Required to fight both the military and mutated bad guys
Yes
Yes
Said superpowers upgradeable by earning XP
Yes
Yes
Can scale the sides of buildings, glide through the air, and jump really far
Yes
Yes
Drop by your friend's house to pick up missions
Yes
Yes
Dubious ethical choices required
Yes
Yes
City is fully populated with people you can't talk to and
cars you can't drive
