Popularity, thy Name is StarCraft II Beta Invites

Posted by Owen Johnson at 9:40 AM Mar 19, 2010

​If you're already in the StarCraft II beta then chances are you don't get out a lot and consequently don't meet many new people. Well my friends, all of that -- or rather the latter half of that -- could change because you're potentially standing on the coveted cusp of popularity and you might not even know it. According to some beta tipsters, those who are already in might receive an invite code to give to a friend. Oh how the men (and maybe a woman or two) will flock to you! You'll be the most popular person in town, the belle of the ball, the king of the land...that is until you choose someone to give it to. Then, you'll have one new friend (or just a better old friend), and a ton of people who're unreasonably pissed at you.

The Do's and Don'ts of Video Games Movies The Digigods

Posted by Crix Lee at 5:57 PM Mar 16, 2010

logo image courtesy of IGN.com

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Activision Suits vs. Former IW Heads

Posted by Owen Johnson at 12:03 PM Mar 04, 2010

Dragon Quest IX Dated for the US

Posted by Owen Johnson at 2:44 PM Feb 24, 2010

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Video Games 101: Teabagging and You

Posted by Crix Lee at 10:40 AM Feb 23, 2010

The Simpsons, FOX

Marge doles out some teabag punishment.

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Birds do it. Bees do it. Hell, even The Simpsons do it.  When it comes to video games, everybody teabags.

 

What is Teabagging? 

 

Teabagging occurs when you kill a player then crouch over his head up while jumping up and down as a final 'eat it, jerk!' move and especially enjoyed if the "victim" is a total friendly fire d-bag, grenade spammer, spawn killer, or for any other odd number of reasons. Most teabagging takes up residency in games like Halo, Wolfenstein, Left 4 Dead, Grand Theft Auto, Metal Gear Solid, etc, etc, and so forth...pretty much any game where your character can crouch.

 

No one is immune from teabagging. In fact, if a celebrity is discovered in a room during multiplayer gameplay you can almost GUARANTEE they'll be the target. If anyone could get the jump on Halo 3: ODST's Nathan Fillion in-game, oh man... I shudder to think of the violations that guy's avatar would go through (but I'm sure he doles out his fair share of 'bags' as well)!

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Vinyl Fantasy 7 (Music)

Posted by Owen Johnson at 6:50 PM Feb 01, 2010

​This is a bit off-topic, as it isn't video game news per se, however I would feel like I'd be doing you all a great disservice if I neglected to post about it. You may remember Team Teamwork from the Zelda mashup they did called The Ocarina of Rhyme back in May 2009. Basically they mixed rap tracks over music from the game, and it was awesome. 

Massive Effects

Posted by J. Matthew Zoss at 11:42 AM Jan 25, 2010

​Like many game journalists, I received my copy of Mass Effect 2 late last week and spent a huge chunk of the weekend with it. Obviously it's a massive game and I've still got a ways to go before I finish it, so the review is still at least a few days away. There's going to be something very different with my review compared to most of the others you'll see in the coming days. Unlike most other critics who will be covering Mass Effect 2, I haven't finished the first game. But that's a good thing.

First, let me clarify. I've played the original Mass Effect and I quite enjoyed it. I just never finished it. I set it down one day to play something else, and then another game I wanted to play came out. And then another. And then another. Finishing Mass Effect just kept getting shuffled to the bottom of the pile, even though I liked the game and fully intended to finish it someday.

Now here's why I think it's a good thing: people who played the first game and loved it don't really need a review of the second one. They already know if they plan on playing the sequel based on their experiences with the first game. But gamers who never played the original don't have that experience. They need to know whether or not they can jump into a series in the middle and still enjoy it. You don't need to play every Call of Duty game to enjoy the new entry in the series. With an RPG, that's a much dicier proposition. There are characters, worlds and stories that have been built up over an entire game. Will players skipping right to Mass Effect 2 be able to throw themselves in?

I'll be reviewing Mass Effect 2 for those players who are new to the series, although I've played enough of the original to be able to comment on the improvements. If you've been wondering if you should play Mass Effect 2 even though you haven't played the first one, stick around and I'll have an answer for you in a couple days. I'll give you a sneak peak of the review based on the 15 hours I've put into the game so far: It's excellent.

Splinter Cell Conviction: Let's Talk Co-Op

Posted by Owen Johnson at 8:04 PM Jan 15, 2010

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I love the Splinter Cell series, most notably Chaos Theory. I love the stealth, I love the gadgets, I love the shooting -- hell, I think I may even love Sam. I mean, you have to admit, he is pretty good looking for an elderly gentlemen. Like Sean Connery 20 years ago, or a modern day George Clooney...but I digress. 

Chaos Theory really has it all, great (albeit a little confusing) single-player campaign, superb gameplay, and what really sealed the deal for me -- absolutely brilliant co-op. So you might be able to guess that the game I'm looking forward to most in the first half of 2010 is Splinter Cell Conviction, as well as the reaction I had when its delay was announced...again. Before I go on it's important to note that I'm not a co-op junkie; I wouldn't, under normal circumstances, purchase a game simply because it provided a decent co-op experience. Now that being said, I don't care what they do to Conviction's solo campaign, they could turn it into Sam Fisher's Project Runway, I would buy this game solely for the co-op. What, you're not sold based completely on the opinion of a guy on the internet you don't know and who hasn't actually played it? Well I guess I can understand that. Check out the co-op trailer, then tell me who's the jerk. Ok, it still may be me, but you can't deny how great that looks.

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Re: Spider-Man

Posted by J. Matthew Zoss at 9:42 AM Jan 12, 2010

​I like to consider myself a well-balanced nerd, so I don't just follow video game news - I follow movie news too! How's that for balance? Anyway, if you're like me, you probably heard the news yesterday that the Spider-Man movie franchise is going through some big, big changes. Spider-Man 4 is dead. Tobey Maguire is out. The Dunst is out. Director Sam Raimi is out. The franchise is being rebooted with an all new-film that will return Peter Parker to his high school roots (which CHUD.com's Devin Faraci says is because the studio wants to pull in some of the Twilight audience, and he's probably right. It's a bizarre, confusing situation and I'm not an expert on the movie business, so I won't try to explain why it's happening.

What does this mean for video games? Well, Activision certainly can't be happy. The publisher has the rights to the Spider-Man movie franchise through 2017. With Spider-Man 4 originally scheduled for summer 2011, the next Spidey game was likely already in production (although probably at an early stage). If so, that work was a waste of money and man hours. Even if they were just working on concept art, it's useless now as all the characters will look different.

It's possible that there will be another Spider-Man game that's not tied to a film before the next movie comes out, probable even. But in short, a reboot in the movie franchise means a reboot in the game franchise. That's not necessarily a bad thing. The Spider-Man swinging engine was starting to show its age, but now there's time to freshen up the tech, improve the graphics and otherwise keep the generally decent Spidey franchise current.

The talk of the geekosphere may be all about the Spider-Man movies right now,  but in today's entertainment industry, what happens on one side of it affects what happens in all the others. 

Backlog 2009

Posted by J. Matthew Zoss at 10:02 AM Dec 29, 2009

​The week between Christmas and New Year's has always been great for cleaning up the video game backlog. It's especially critical this year, as the new releases start flowing again in early January (Darksiders, Bayonetta, Army of Two). I'm going to attempt to knock at least two games down before those big games start showing up: The Saboteur and Uncharted 2. I can't believe I've let a big game like Uncharted 2 go unplayed for so long, but that's the very nature of the backlog, isn't it?

So folks, what games will you be playing this week? How's that backlog looking? The photo above isn't my actual backlog, obviously. I keep mine much tidier than that.

Harmonix vs. Activision, Round Two: LEGO Rock Band Vs. DJ Hero

Posted by J. Matthew Zoss at 5:27 PM Nov 10, 2009

​I've been out of the country recently, and now that I'm back I'm catching up on some of the games that were released while I was gone. Today I spent a chunk of time with the two most recent music games: DJ Hero and LEGO Rock Band. Both are fun games that diverge from the standard music formula (although each in very different ways), but playing both of them today made me wonder: which of them will sell better?

After early predictions that said Guitar Hero 5 would crush The Beatles: Rock Band, it was determined that The Beatles easily outsold GH5. There has been a lot of conversation lately about the music game genre peaking (there are, by my count, 10 music games out this year), and DJ Hero's initial sales have been modest. Will the powerful LEGO brand and the familiar Rock Band gameplay lead to Harmonix outselling Activision for the second time this fall?

Of course, this is somewhat of a pointless question and I know it. A more apt comparison would be LEGO Rock Band vs. Band Hero (which is likely to outsell LEGO Rock Band, thanks to bigger marketing, a bigger brand, and Taylor Swift). But this is a site for gamers - gamers don't care about Band Hero. It wasn't on my mind. I'm sure it wasn't on yours, either. DJ Hero is the current hot topic in music games, and its obvious that Activision was pushing it much harder than Band Hero.

My take: While neither game will be a huge smash, LEGO Rock Band's combination of family-friendly songs, familiar gameplay and the LEGO brand will lead it to outsell DJ Hero in the long run. Of course, DJ Hero is an Activision game, so expect to see 5 more DJ Hero games within the next two years, making it the more profitable franchise in the long run.

Open-World Superhero Smackdown 2009: Game Talk Edition

Posted by J. Matthew Zoss at 10:07 AM Jul 01, 2009

Man, OWSS09 is simply killing me. Infamous is done (review here), Prototype is about 80% complete, and Red Faction is about halfway in the bag. Of course, I brought this all upon myself, although a dead Xbox certainly hasn't helped the speed of this project. But while we're waiting, what's your take on these games? I suspect few of you are playing all three at the same time, because you're all much smarter than me, but I know many of you are playing one or two of them. So what's your take? Let's hear your thoughts in the comments secion.

Conduits, Boxers and Robots, Oh My!

Posted by J. Matthew Zoss at 2:40 PM Jun 22, 2009

It's the first week of Summer, and it's another big week for video games. Amongst other things, tomorrow is the release date for Sega's high-profile Wii FPS The Conduit. Also coming tomorrow are Fight Night Round 4 and the new Transformers movie game. I pumped to play the new Fight Night, but with my Xbox's untimely death, there's little reason to pick it up right away. I'm also going to pass on The Conduit, as if I'm going to play a shooter, it'll be on the 360. Is anyone planning on picking it up? Sega's been leading the charge on hardcore games for the Wii, but so far has failed to produce a big hit in the category. Will The Conduit be the first big third-party "gamer's game," or will it be another "relative sales disappointment?"

Let's hear your take in the comments. 

Game Talk: My Comment on Comments

Posted by J. Matthew Zoss at 10:37 AM Mar 05, 2009

Over the last few days, there's been a lot of discussion on this site, often on posts that I never expected would be hot. I just wanted to say that I love it. Joystick Division has been steadily building a devoted readership, and hearing your thoughts is like crack to me, even when you want to tell me that I'm a stupid ass-head. Anything you want to share with us, we want to hear. So let's see even more comments in the future!

Thanks to Chris Ward for the ridiculous Game Talk graphic. He used to be around these parts all the time, but I think he got eaten by a bear or something. Or perhaps the BearForce. Link not safe for anyone.

Game Talk: We love your comments, especially when you're an exceptional asshole

Posted by Chris Ward at 9:26 PM Oct 25, 2008

To those concerned, Gary is healing just fine from his recent attack. No, not that attack. The one he recently took from some freakishly ticked off and anonymous message board commentors, who muster all of their wits and try very, very hard. It's adorable, every time. Now, the best part: responding to you, oh angry poster! Keep in mind, we have to approve all comments, so if your anonymous brick came through our digital window pane, it's because we approved it for future ridicule. Let's get started!

Anonymous said:
This is so stupid. You guys have nothing else to do?

Dear anonymous...

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'Fess Up: The Video Game Confessional Booth

Posted by Chris Ward at 4:52 PM Oct 23, 2008

Above: Soda Pope-inski is like a regular pope, except after you confess your sins he laughs at you like a chicken.

I've been feeling guilty lately, I don't know why. I've guess come to the realization that I'm capable of morally terrible things when it comes to video games. I complain about the Blue Shell in Mario Kart, but I won't hesitate to use it on you and feel good about it. I've pressed the "fire" button on arcade games to advance the continue timer while some kid runs to get another quarter, just so I can finally play. I've played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on Xbox Live, and exploited the endless Mousers for points in hopes of beating friends on leaderboards. Shameless, pathetic and, yes, douchey. So, I want to know: what dirty, awful, video game sins are on your conscious? I wouldn't limit these to in-game crimes. When I was living in New York with illegal aliens (not joking) and interning, my landlord's little kid would come over on the weekends and bitch until he could play my Game Cube. One Sunday, he erased all my Super Smash Bros. data when I was out of the house. "What happened to my fucking save files?!?!" I politely asked. His response: "I erased it. Now you have to start over." Then he laughed, and skipped...fucking skipped...into his room. I'm pretty sure that kid's favorite Pokemon cards ended up in the squirrel feeder, taped to an ear of corn.

So, please, comments below! Admit it...you feel good about eating the health turkey off the ground before your friends.

Game Talk: "Parts: The Rock Band 2 Horror" discussion

Posted by Chris Ward at 4:40 PM Sep 19, 2008

I've received my Rock Band 2 bundle (a week later than promised due to "technical difficulties." Or, perhaps, for fear I would leak some information about the splintery drum sticks). So here's the big question: Of course you're buying Rock Band 2, but what parts?

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Satan's Line Graph! August Edition!

Posted by Chris Ward at 3:50 PM Aug 19, 2008

In the interest of full disclosure, I checked out Alexa.com today to see where we stand with the other Village Voice blogs, our friends at Toplessrobot.com and Heartlessdoll.com. No, I'm not giving you a link...type it yourself, you lazy shits! ChuckECheese.com, as always, is my barometer, and leads the pack.







So you can see, we have some work to do! But I bet the Penny Arcade guys aren't reading those other sites. Hello, Gentlemen! We're recruiting writers here and there, so comment below if you think you've got the chops to write for the greatest gaming blog on the internet webs. Thanks for your support, true believers!

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GAME TALK #1: WE ARE SHALLOW

Posted by Chris Ward at 9:10 PM Apr 14, 2008

Greetings, and welcome to the first edition of, umm...Game Talk. Yes, you in the back row: you are absolutely correct. "Game Talk" is a pretty shitty name for this section, where we'll be answering your fan mail/hate mail/free game walkthroughs to the hardest games out there.

Well, haters, think of this: maybe "Game Talk" is meant to be ironic, ever think of that? Maybe I didn't have time to think of something good, ever think of that?

Still, check out this rad graphic!

If that doesn't scream Now You're Playing With Power, then I have a counter-argument to your argument: "Hey, fuck you, pal."

Also, I was particularly struck by this stock photo and the fear in the woman's eyes that, yes, eventually, everyone in the room will figure out that NONE OF THE WORDS ON THE SHEET OF PAPER ARE ACTUAL WORDS.

She's a pod person, and she's just revealed herself. Please kill her now.

Anyways, please, email your letters and column name suggestions to joystickdivision@gmail.com. Now that I'm done writing for Wizard Magazine's Magic Words, I have a Prison Mail-sized hole in my gut that I need filled with deviant correspondence.

The first piece of hate mail, after the jump!

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