Posted by Alexander Bevier at 9:00 AM Sep 09, 2010
Did you not go to PAX 2010 this year? Did you want some of the sweet succulent swag that game companies were giving away? Do you have enjoy looking at pictures and adding funny words under them for free things?
Then look no further than Joystick Divisions Official PAX 2010 Photo Caption Contest!
The rules of the JDOPPCC (we know, it's a bad abbreviation) is simple! Look at the picture that was taken at PAX 2010 after the jump, leave a comment that captions the feel and emotions of the picture, and we'll judge them next week.
Don't have anything to say about the posted photo? No worries! We'll have a different photo every day this week begging for a great caption or two.
Winners will receive some of the authentic PAX swag we received last weekend*.
Read more "Official PAX 2010..." >>
Posted by Alexander Bevier at 9:00 AM Sep 08, 2010
Did you not go to PAX 2010 this year? Did you want some of the sweet succulent swag that game companies were giving away? Do you have enjoy looking at pictures and adding funny words under them for free things?
Then look no further than Joystick Divisions Official PAX 2010 Photo Caption Contest!
The rules of the JDOPPCC (we know, it's a bad abbreviation) is simple! Look at the picture that was taken at PAX 2010 after the jump, leave a comment that captions the feel and emotions of the picture, and we'll judge them next week.
Don't have anything to say about the posted photo? No worries! We'll have a different photo every day this week begging for a great caption or two.
Winners will receive some of the authentic PAX swag we received last weekend*.
Read more "Official PAX 2010..." >>
Posted by Alexander Bevier at 9:00 AM Sep 07, 2010
Did you not go to PAX 2010 this year? Did you want some of the sweet succulent swag that game companies were giving away? Do you have enjoy looking at pictures and adding funny words under them for free things?
Then look no further than Joystick Divisions Official PAX 2010 Photo Caption Contest!
The rules of the JDOPPCC (we know, it's a bad abbreviation) is simple! Look at the picture that was taken at PAX 2010 after the jump, leave a comment that captions the feel and emotions of the picture, and we'll judge them next week.
Don't have anything to say about the posted photo? No worries! We'll have a different photo every day this week begging for a great caption or two.
Winners will receive some of the authentic PAX swag we received last weekend*.
Read more "Official PAX 2010..." >>
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 12:00 PM Jun 11, 2010
Thanks to everyone who entered yesterday's
contest for a $50 gift certificate for Threadless. We here at JD love giving stuff away and we'll do so every chance we get. With no further adieu, your winner (as chosen randomly) is...
Read more "The Threadless Contest:..." >>
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 10:00 AM Jun 10, 2010
Few websites have the selection of video game-inspired t-shirts as
Threadless. The clothing site lets its audience design and choose which shirts are sold on the site, including plenty based on some of gaming's most iconic characters.
Threadless is having a massive sale today, with all t-shirts available for $10 and hoodies available for $30. In honor of this sale, we're giving away a
$50 gift certificate to Threadless. Entering is as simple as can be: Just pick your favorite Threadless' game-inspired shirt and tell us in the comments below. We'll choose one winner at random later today. Good luck!
[Update - we'll keep this sucker running until Midnight, Central time]
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 12:20 PM Mar 02, 2010
Hey JD readers - Can I interest you in a free beta key for the upcoming action/racing game Blur? Activision offered up a bunch of keys for the arcade racer, and I'm more than happy to share them with you good people. We've got about 100 keys to give away and I'll be doling them out in batches so more people get a chance at them. I've got the first batch of code below, put PLEASE READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS FIRST before you grab them.
- The beta starts on
March 8th.
- To get in the beta,
you will need to take one of the attached codes and enter it
at www.Blurthegame.com/beta. When the beta starts, you will get an email with an Xbox 360
code that will let them into the beta. This beta is currently only available for the Xbox 360.
Pretty simple, huh? Enter these codes at the website above, and you'll get a code for the actual beta download in a few days. Happy racing!
Read more "Who Wants a Blur..." >>
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 10:31 AM Mar 02, 2010
Man, this was a tough one. There were a lot of good entries in the
Lazy Raiders contest, so the thought of picking a single winner filled me with the same sort of lazy procrastination a lot of you clearly feel
all the damn time. But I brought this upon myself, so let's get on with it, shall we? First some of my favorite runners-up.
Dan said:
I'm so lazy...I don't even feel like explaining why I am a lazy gamer.
Nice try, Dan. But several people tried a similar tactic.
Jolly Englishman said:
I'm so lazy that I've never actually played a game, I just watch walkthrough videos on YouTube.
That's pretty damn lazy, but if true you'll never actually play Lazy Raiders. Hell, you might not ever download it.
Liz said:
I pause games to take naps.
Awesome.
toplessnerd said:
I'm a lazy gamer because instead of getting up to go get snacks or even turn my consoles on, i pay my sister to do it.
Lazy and ballin.' I love it.
LazyRyan said:
I'm a
lazy gamer since I stop playing games (when I'm lying down) if the
controller dies and I need to charge it even though the cable is always
connected to the Xbox 360 and it's only 3 feet from my bed.
That's just sad.
veren said:
I am a lazy Gamer
moving fingers are a chore
Heavy drooping eyelids
Our only Haiku entry.
Moran said:
I don't
own a chair. I play all my video games lying in bed. I refuse to buy a
Wii because I dread having to move around while playing video games.
That and I don't need my beloved video games to tell me that I'm fat
and lazy. I know that already. Screw you Wii Fit.
Moran, you were my second choice, if that's any consolation to you. But I heard too may variations of "I game in bed."
All good stuff, but our champion of laziness is after the break!
Read more "Lazy Raiders Contest:..." >>
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 10:13 AM Feb 27, 2010
Hey, who wants a free game? I've got one download code for Lazy Raiders, the new Xbox Live Arcade game that combines classic platforming with manipulation of gravity. We'll have our official review of the game early next week, but until then you fine folks can compete for a free copy of the game. All you have to do is tell me in the comments section below why you're a lazy gamer. You have until
Monday the 1st at Midnight. I'll pick one winner and email you the code. Simple right?
Here's my example to start you off: I still haven't mailed out the prizes for the Sam Jackson iPhone case contest. How lazy can you get?
I'd encourage you to start getting your answers in right away, but that wouldn't be very lazy, would it?
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 9:53 AM Feb 15, 2010
I've got good news for everyone who entered the
contest to win a "Bad Mother Fucker" iPhone case. The winners are... all of you! I had enough of these wonderfully classy accessories that every person who entered will get one, so I'll need each of the following commenters to send their addresses to joystickdivision@gmail.com.
Firekraken
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Thiger
Trunks
Dread
Mechroneal
Zeig
D'Juan
JK
Drysushi
Steveo
Congrats to every one of the entrants on winning! I'll be sending out the cases slowly because I'm cheap, but I'll get them in the mail ASAP.
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 10:00 AM Feb 13, 2010
As you may have figured out by now, our weekly contests are a thing of the past. I simply didn't have enough prizes to sustain that schedule. However, we still plan to have contests as frequently as possible, and we've got a fun one for our first contest of 2010. Courtesy of the iPhone App iSamJackson, we'll be giving away iPhone cases based on Sam Jackson's famous wallet from
Pulp Fiction. You know the one I'm talking about. You can see an image of the case below.
iSamJackson is a $2.99 iPhone app that spouts lines from Sam Jackson himself, and is available in both clean and explicit versions. There's even a pick-up line add-on available just in time for Valentine's Day. Check out the embedded widget for an example of what to expect.
Here's how to win: In the comments section below, I want to hear your best "Sam Jackson Playing Video Games" lines. Choose a game, and then give me what you think Sam himself would say while playing that game. "I'm sick of these motherf*cking goombas on this motherf*ucking level!" for Super Mario Bros, for example. Don't mind my self-censorship - I'm just trying to keep the contest description as clean as possible. Swear to your heart's content. Sam would.
Entries are due by
Sunday, Feb. 14 at Midnight, CST. Multiple winners will be chosen at random.
US Residents only, please. [UPDATE: Now open to everyone!] Check out the case and the widget below.
Read more "Contest: Win A Bad..." >>
Posted by Owen Johnson at 4:27 PM Jan 25, 2010
Bungie is offering you a chance to immortalize your personal artwork by submitting an emblem design for their contest. What? You're not an artist? No worries. To put it in their own words, "If it's not pixel-perfect, it's won't be a problem. We're willing to look past your lack of artistic skills and see the awesome idea underneath."
All the specifics are
here, but generally speaking this is what you can expect:
-Your emblem must consist of only 2 colors.
-Your emblem must look good when it's tiny.
-Must be original -- no National flags either.
-Must be submitted between now and 11:59PM PST on February 5th, 2010.
-Nothing offensive, rude, icky, racist, or otherwise "stupidly ridonkulous.".
Good luck all ye who choose to partake, may your designs be dong-free and have nothing to do with Rick Astley.
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 2:00 PM Dec 22, 2009
Our final contest of the year has wrapped! We got some great answers from you guys on your Gaming Resolutions for 2010, and here are some of my favorites. Of course, there can be only one grand prize winner, so Imma gonna maka you waita for that-a one. I'm not sure what the hell that was about, so let's just move on, shall we?
Nice resolution, Curphs. You were a definite finalist.
ThaFame said:
One
resolution in two parts. First get both Uncharted 1 & 2 and finally
play them. Seen the videos, played a demo, why I have not already
purchased them is beyond me. And secondly to go back and play thru Gran
Tourismos of past in preparation for number 5. If there is a driving
game, or game in general I take seriously, it is the Gran Tourismo
brand. Nothing beats a good racing/driving game in my book. Though it
does lead to interesting situations when driving in real life,
restraint is needed to not fly down the highway, drifting through all
turns, and basically breaking the driving laws of all 50 states.
You know how this goes. Winner after the break!
Read more "JD Game Resolution..." >>
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 1:17 PM Dec 18, 2009
Once again it's Friday, so once again it's contest day! Because next Friday is Christmas and because the week after that is the blissful, lazy week between Christmas and New Year's, this is going to be our last contest of the year. Never fear, the contest shall return in 2010, so you'll have even more chances to humiliate yourselves for fun and prizes. Yay!
Being that this is our closing contest for 2009, what I want to hear from you today are your gaming resolutions for 2010. Do you want to finish all six origins in Dragon Age? Hit Prestige in Modern Warfare 2? Spend more time gaming and less time watching erotic videos on YouTube? Let's hear it.
This week's winner receives a copy of Drawn To Life: The Next Chapter for Wii. As always, have your entries in by midnight on Monday (CST). Keep 'em short and entertaining. Good luck!
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 12:59 PM Dec 15, 2009
It's Tuesday, so it's time for another JD contest winner! This week, I asked you to share your holiday gaming stories, and as always we got some good answers. So let's get going on some of my favorites!
Trent said:
The best
was the Christmas that I got a Sega Genesis with Sonic packaged in and
my cousin got a SNES with Super Mario World. We spent the last week of
Christmas break sleeping over at each others house playing both games.
They were both so good that we simply could not choose which one to
play. Ah those were the days!
JR said:
When I was a
kid my family lived in an apartment. At this point I still believed in
Santa Claus. Well on Xmas Eve one year we all went to put up the tree,
and we did. Upon leaving the room, I was the last person in it so I
shut off the lights except for the tree. We went to my moms room to
grabbed the already wrapped presents and came back, again I was the
first one in the room.
Lights on, and there was a present wrapped (VERY DIFFERENTLY) on the couch by the tree. From Santa.
As a result. nearly 15 years later. I still frigging believe in Santa claus. [JR later added that the gift in question was Super Mario Land 2 - Anton]
Another good answer from Purple MOnkey Dishwasher:
It
was 1982 and after a long year of being good,my parents promised to get
Pole Position on the Atari as one of my main presents. I was over the
moon as it looked ace and the adverts I'd seen of it made it look like
the bees knees, the other kids I knew would be green with envy.
Being a 10 (ish) year old and as 10 year old Kids do I went hunting
for presents. Mainly just out of curiosity you have to understand.
After a little rooting around in wardrobes and under beds I found the
Christmas present stash. I pulled out a bag from Woolworths, inside was
Pole Position.
After very little deliberation and thought towards the consequences,
my greedy little fingers prised open the packaging, and despite my
brother telling me not to, I inserted the cartridge into the machine. I
settled back and was transported to the exciting world of motor racing.
My memory of the game is a little blurry, but I think I made it
round the first corner before mum came in and caught me playing it.
I remember the shouting.I remember crying.
I never saw the game again. I can't recall what I got for Christmas that year; I only know it wasn't Pole Position.
mina said:
growing up
in a another country as a girl I was not so much allowed to have a lot
of toys and most of my toys were so lame that I would be board w them
quick. when my younger brother got his first video game counsel on a
holiday I just couldn't stop watching him having the world to
himself!!! it was like a miracle !!! so I began strategizing and traded
my stuff one by one for just" ONE round of game", (oh and I was so bad
at it too) lol.. but I cant say that any more!!! ..love it and play it
everyday!!! miracles do happen !!!
Zeig said:
When my
family got a sega genesis it came with the 6-pack cartridge. My mother
and father used to play the game coloumns for hours on end, there's
even a photo (a very old photo now) of their game paused, i was about 7
at the time, but my memory seems to dictate that coloumns had more then
99 levels, and im pretty sure my own father got to about 300+ or so.
toplessnerd combines Christmas with being horrible to your siblings:
Well
this christmas I asked for an xbox 360 and my dad (being deployed in
Iraq) decided to buy it early so he could have some fun with it
meanwhile. Then I hatched an evil plan and convinced my parents that my
little sister was horrible this year and doesn't deserve much. It
worked, and now they're spending extra money on my presents. So 7 games
for aforementioned xbox have already been bought off my Amazon
wishlist, as well as a couple PS2 and DS games.
But who, oh who, could your winner be? Read on!
Read more "JD Contest Winner:..." >>
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 12:46 PM Dec 11, 2009
It's Friday, so you know what that means: it's contest time! Last week I asked you to embarrass yourselves, but this week I'm feeling a little kinder. It's the holiday season after all. So here's what I want from you: your favorite holiday gaming story. Get your parents to play Rock Band at Christmas? Wake up one morning to find a
Nintendo 64 under your tree? Let's hear your favorite heart-warming holiday tale in the comment section. The winner receives a brand-new copy of Microsoft's acclaimed driving simulator, Forza 3.
As usual, keep your answers brief and have them turned in my Monday, December 14 at Midnight (CST). Please keep in mind that if you're entering from overseas, this is a NTSC copy of the game.
Okay folks, the contest starts now. Begin spreading holiday cheer... now!
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 12:59 PM Dec 08, 2009
Oh man, this was a fun one. You guys really stepped up and brought the embarrassment! There were some really great answers, but as with The Highlander, there can be only one. So let's get on with the runner's up before revealing this week's winner!
Moran get straight to the point:
Every now and then, while playing Oblivion or Dragon Age, I strip the females to see what they look like naked. I'm 27.
bink544 chooses scary games over sex:
Having vivid intense nightmares about Resident Evil Code veronica.
Well, that game is actually pretty scary, maybe thats not shameful
enough.... Oh I know, any time I turned down sex with my then GF to play that game.
Zombinate loves pinatas and doesn't understand how to properly buy consoles:
I have all the achievements in Viva Pinata. I love's me some Pinatas. I bought the Atari 7800 when the NES already existed. I bought the
Nes after the SuperNes was released. I have never owned a playstation,
but I own a first gen Xbox, and haven't modded it. I love some misfit
systems, and regret not having owned a dreamcast.
Frequent contest entrant Cavity_Dog creeps me out:
Let me start by saying I have no shame.
If I did, there is no way I could ever play Idolmaster between
classes at uni. Where people look over my shoulder and raise an
eyebrow. Especially when I dress up the boyish looking girl in the
devilish lingerie DLC, which I payed $5 for.
One time a cute girl sat next to me and started playing a DS. She
showed me she was playing Mr. Driller. I showed her I was playing
Idolmaster. I never saw her again.
JD homie Padre Hodges is a perv:
I was a real game babe perv as a teenager. I delighted that Tyris of
Golden Axe had a skimpier bottom in the Genesis version, and spent too
much time making her walk away from the camera. I loved that when you
punched the female enemies in Final Fight (arcade), their tops nearly
flew off and thus was crushed when all the home versions either
lengthened their tops or removed the girls altogether. And when I first
saw Psylocke bouncing and jiggling all over the screen in Capcom's
X-Men games... oh momma! Fuck, I reven remember getting off on Nei in
Phatasy Star II - and you can barely see the chick! But all that
mattered was: 1) she was wearing a bustier and thigh-high boots, and 2)
when she attacked, you got a quick view of her ass.
Then there's Purple Monkey Dishwasher, who had my favorite answer of them all. Unfortunately, it was well after the contest ended. He may have been disqualified, but his response is too good not to share:
Maybe im late but.
I Played far too much super Mario 64 while in my final year.
I had 119 stars and had to stop playing as I had 1 week left until
the deadline for my dissertation (12,000 words on the fragmentation of
genres in popular music in 7 days). I fucked up badly, told some big lies and managed to not have to do it and still graduated.
My shame is: I never got that last star.
Bravo, sir. Read on for our winner!
Read more "JD Contest Winner:..." >>
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 11:11 AM Dec 04, 2009
After a week off for Thanksgiving, the Joystick Division weekly contest is back. We've got another game to give away this week, but I want to make you folks work for it. Your question this week: What's your greatest video game shame?
There's a lot of wiggle room in that question, so interpret it how you will. Have you to this day failed to beat Super Mario Bros.? Ever been caught pleasuring yourself to the women of Final Fantasy? Was your first console the (shudder) N-Gage? Embarrass yourself in the comments section and you could win a prize!
This week's winner will receive the not-at-all shameful Star Wars The Force Unleashed: Ultimate Sith Edition for PC. Yes, PC. It's what I've got available, okay?
Have your answers in by Midnight (CST) on Monday. Keep 'em brief, and I'll have your winner for you on Tuesday. Happy shaming!
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 11:59 AM Nov 24, 2009
It's time for our second weekly Joystick Division user contest winner! In our second contest we had a big increase in participation, although I'm sure we can still do better, people! Before we get to the winner, a few notes on future contests.
- There will be no contest this week on account of the holiday. The contest will return as normal the following week.
- Future contests will run Friday to Monday instead of Friday to Sunday to allow for more entries.
Okay, now with that housekeeping out of the way, on with the show. We'll start with the honorable mentions, which include a couple nods to my current time-sink game, Dragon Age.
Antilles said:
Right now I'm playing Dragon Age which is a great time-sink. At the
moment I'm halfways through the game at 60 hours. That's because I
collect everything. So when my backpack is full i leave the current
location and head back to the next merchant. So it's a lot of running
around. Plus I robbed every NPC (about 600) in the game so far.
Hearing a couple nods to WoW was no surprise:
Taeo said:
My time played on the first character I made in World of Warcraft is over 100 days. That's right. DAYS.
Slybri said:
World
of Warcraft. The game is designed as the ultimate time sink. I spent 3
precious years of my life playing that game. The first time I installed
it, I played for 24 hours straight.
Lots of time sinkage due to the Final Fantasy series:
zombinate said:
Yep,
did all of Oblivion, including shivering isles. However my biggest
timesuck was in Final Fantasy X, specifically the damn Blitzball
subgame. I think I had like 40 hours in just that subgame.
Dread said:
Final Fantasy VII.
I used one file to
actually play the game and I used the other to just play for a few
minutes here and there when I was bored or between classes or whatever.
I played a few minutes here and there and
before I knew it, I had played that file for THIRTY HOURS.
bink544 said:
Final
Fantasy 2 for SNES. Actually, if you tallied up all of my Final
fantasy time I have probably logged over a month of my life to the FF
saga. Maybe more.
SPEDTeacher said:
The
worst part about taking a vacation is having to get to the airport at
the butt-crack of dawn. I have never been much of a morning person. To
ensure that I was up and ready to get to the airport by 3:30 am, my
brother-in-law and I stayed up playing the original NES Final Fantasy.
We started around 8:00 pm and kept right on playing until we left for
the airport. I figured I could sleep on the airplane. Turns out I
cannot sleep well on airplanes and my entire first day in Mexico was
wasted sleeping in the hotel room!
There were plenty of good answers, including this pretty unexpected one from Cavity_Dog:
Cavity_Dog said:
To
begin with, I'm a fan of baseball statistics. If you've never heard of
Baseball Mogul, its like a fantasy league except you're not playing
against real people. And its text based. By all rights, it should be
boring as hell. When I first bought it, I sat down to play as the 1980
Montreal Expos at 4 in the afternoon. When I next looked at the clock,
it was 4 in the morning and the game year was 2040. My players were
drafted, played out their careers, and died. Prospects became stars and
flameouts, and then has-beens.
It was so much fun I do it again once or twice a month.
But for our first-place winner, I had to go with someone who clearly needs a good new time-sink game. Winner after the break!
Read more "JD Contest Winner:..." >>
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 3:24 PM Nov 20, 2009
It's time for our second weekly Joystick Division user contest. We had a decent turn out last week, but I want to up the number of responses, so I'm upping the stakes. This week's winner gets a brand new copy of Borderlands for Xbox 360, courtesy of our good friends at 2K Games.
Borderlands is a great "time sink" game, something that you can invest far, far too much time in. What's your favorite time sink game? For example, a good friend of mine did every single quest in The Elder Scrolls IV. Every. Single One. He spend literally hundreds upon hundreds of hours in that game. So what's your story? Let's hear it in the comments section below.
Keep your answers
brief and have them submitted by Midnight (CST) on Sunday. I'll read
them over on Monday, and the winner will be announced on Tuesday. Have
fun!
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 1:00 PM Nov 17, 2009
Our
first JD contest has come to an end. Honestly, there was only mild turn-out, but this is a new feature that we'll keep running with, so I'm confident the number of participants will grow over time. Tune in this Friday for the next contest. I'll hopefully be able to start offering bigger and better prizes (like games) after we build up some steam, so the more people who participate, the better stuff I should have to give away. Anyway, on with the winners!
First off, special praise for Cavity_Dog, who wins the "Makes Anton Feel Old Award" for citing Pokemon as his retro gaming moment.
Padre Hodges has a very entertaining story about Ultima, but as a former JD staffer, he's ineligible. Sorry, chump.
The first place prize winner is after the break.
Read more "JD Contest Winner:..." >>
Posted by Jeremy M. Zoss at 10:17 AM Nov 13, 2009
Hey out there, Joystick Divisionites. I'm stealing this idea shamelessly from our sister site Topless Robot, but they never come over here so I'm pretty sure I won't get beat up for it. Starting today, we'll be running a weekly contest for you guys. Here's how it works. I'll ask you guys a question, you answer in the comments section, and the best answer wins. Pretty simple, huh? And because we're so generous around here, we'll be sending the winner prizes (whenever we have them available). This week's winner will receive a Brutal Legend logo patch, and maybe some other random swag I have lying around.
So, you question for the inaugural JD contest is "What's your proudest retro gaming moment?" As an example, mine is the time that I finally beat Contra - without using the codes for 30 lives. I realized that I knew the game so well that I probably didn't need to use the code. Turns out that I was right.
Keep your answers brief and have them submitted by Midnight (CST) on Sunday. I'll read them over on Monday, and the winner will be announced on Tuesday. Have fun!
Another good answer from SPEDTeacher, but he won last week. I'll finally mail your prize tomorrow, I promise.