These Saints are serious sinners

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Me: Yes. Yes I did.

THQ Rep: Good! That means you pretty much understand what they're going for.

Me: I believe so, yes.

We were talking about Saints Row: The Third. And the THQ rep was absolutely correct.

Developer Volition wanted to create a game that is vulgar. They wanted to create a game that's crazy. They wanted to create a game that's over-the-top. They wanted to create a game that's fun.

And it looks like that's exactly what they've done.

The E3 presentation for Saints Row: The Third took place in an upstairs showroom made to look like the inside of a swank private jet. This was appropriate, as that's exactly where the "mission" portion of the demonstration took place.

But first, Volition wanted to show off the open world portion of the gameplay. They touted overhauled vehicle handling and more options when it comes to abusing the citizens of Steelport, the title's new New-York-like setting.

I watched as the player rolled around the city in a tank, trying to wreak enough havoc before a timer ran out. Then he hopped in a sports car and proceeded to run over innocent bystanders. Apparently unsatisfied with the number of lives he had ruined, the guy playing the game opted to leave the car and begin attacking the poor saps up close and personal, unleashing flying takedowns, "testicular assaults" and, yes, beating up folks with a giant purble dildo bat.

Before long I witnessed the character boarding a vertical takeoff jet that could move quickly across the city or go into hover mode to unleash a volley of rockets or fry citizens with a microwave ray.

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I was shown the second story mission next, featuring a group of Saints that have grown a bit too posh for their own good. The organization has grown and become syndicated, frequently appearing in energy drink commercials, movies, etc.

"The Third is all about the Saints being on top," the presenter said. "They've got money and power now, so they have access to some great new vehicles and toys."

Apparently fellow gangs no longer feel the Saints are as tough as they used to be, and so the title's trio of main characters find themselves on a plane being threatened by the leader of The Syndicate, a Euro outfit intent on absorbing the Saints.

This airborne negotiation goes south quickly, leading to a shootout through the plane's interior.  Desperate for escape, the player straps on a parachute and takes an abrupt trip towards planet Earth. In free fall now, you have to dodge cars and burning crates that have spilled from the plane's cargo area, all while taking part in a midair firefight.

I won't ruin the closer, but I will say that you will be exiting that same plane a second time within about a minute. Go ahead and figure that one out.

The best part of the presentation was that the new Saints Row never tried to take itself too seriously. During the long falling portion and debris dodging, for instance, the main character says "How much shit was in that plane?" Perfect.