The Top Ten Greatest Asses In Video Game History

By James Hawkins in Lists!
Thursday, March 10, 2011 at 10:00 am

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Let's be candid here for a moment, shall we? Everyone uses video games for a bit of escapism, and therefore, video games -- as they try to embellish every part of what is boring in our lives -- well, video games have a lot of hot people to interact with on a virtual level. And those hot people have, a lot of times, really nice butts.

So we want to look quite closely at some of gaming's most righteous rumps. Its most awesome asses. Its most beautiful booties. Here at Joystick Division, we're known to take the listing process very seriously, and this time is no exception. Please click the link to enjoy a full list of the greatest poopers in all of video gaming.



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10. Ivy

Soul Calibur Series

Like many (really all) of the characters on this list, Ivy has a phenomenal body. Her tight tail has become legendary. It's athletic and pert -- as are the bottoms of all the other Soul Calibur girls. We celebrate its ability to power those awesome legs into ass-kicking.


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9. Kasumi 

Dead or Alive Series

Kasumi is a slender, bikini-clad goddess. Her gorgeous glutes are often overshadowed by other, more prominent frontal characteristics, but to deny the design of her terrific turdcutter would be criminal. And we aren't criminals here. Most of us, anyway.


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8. Cortana

Halo Series

Master Chief's virtual pseudo love interest is often seen from behind, and for as un-sexualized as she is in the Halo games, we've all been caught staring longingly at that pretty patootie. And we can't lie -- that sexy Tron-esque digital one piece only enhances its beauty.


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7. Rayne

Blood Rayne Series

Rayne has a very sporty, toned body -- which is actually a pretty rare body type in the video game world. But she wears it very well, especially on her back half. Rayne's ass isn't huge and it isn't jiggly, it is that kind that could probably shatter walnuts. Which is awesome.


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6. Zero Suit Samus

Metroid Series

Underneath that deceptive suit, Samus Aran is actually a super hot chick. She's got that hot, youthful look -- and a hot, youthful hind section to go right along with it. We don't get to enjoy her in tight spandex often, but when we do, we most certainly pay attention.


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5. Bayonetta


There was much ado about Bayonetta's perfectly sculpted backside when Bayonetta dropped. And with good reason. Her finest feature was hand-carved by some of the finest ass-smiths in all of video gaming -- and was rumored to have been built over thousands upon thousands of hours.


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4. Snake

Metal Gear Solid Series

Yeah, dudes can have nice booties, too. Everyone that muscled through Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots has spent hours upon hours staring directly at Snake's perfectly formed kiester, as he perpetually has a wedgie. Luckily, that underwear-stuffed crack separates a couple of excellent hocks.


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3. Lara Croft

Tomb Raider Series

You can't really knock Lara Croft for anything. She's a strong, tough lady who is clever and highly intelligent, one that likes adventure and danger. Also, she wears a set of shorts that shows off her juicy tomb-raiding tushie, and that pair of shorts is more iconic than almost every other character in all of video gaming.


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2. Cammy

Street Fighter Series

It's the one-piece thong. She dons a hot leotard better than anyone else in the industry. That single article of clothing has propelled Cammy's deucer to iconic status -- it is revealing, accentuating her finest assets.


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1. Miranda

Mass Effect 2

Miranda's supreme shitter may be the most enticing part of Mass Effect 2. And possibly the most exciting part of Mass Effect 3. Which is saying a lot, since the games themselves are so lauded. You just can't beat round, perky bottom that's sitting in tight, ass-hugging pants. You just can't. It is the kind of thing you want to take a nap on, or gaze longingly at for hours.

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