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| The Essential Weapons |
And we've simulated the situation in dozens of video games. From Resident Evil to the mod Killing Floor, the titles we enjoy so much are actually training us for that time when we must raise a gun to our fellow man as he staggers toward us, hungry for brains.
It sounds hopeless, but there's always a way to survive: humans are adaptable problem solvers. So here at Joystick Division, we've compiled a list of the best problem-solving tools in all of video gaming. These are the ones you want by your side as you meet the horde.
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The Excavator is certainly not the most practical weapon, but it is unique in its ability to clear out a swarm of zombies with a single zombie. It is the kind of weapon you would pick up to bore a hole through the crowded undead in a shopping mall, where food, tools, and water might be found. It is heavy though, so make sure you'll be able to manage the weight before you turn it on an enemy.
Excavators, like the ones used by Frank West in Dead Rising, can be easily found at hardware stores or in landscaping trucks, but they won't be lying around all over the place. And don't worry about bring along extra gasoline to refill the tank -- chances are this is the kind of weapon you should ditch when it's spent.
Noise: High / Utility: Low / Crowd Control: High / Stopping Power: High / Availability: Medium / Maneuverability: Very Low
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9. TMP (Ingram MAC 11) Resident Evil 4
The TMP is modeled after a MAC 11, a lightweight, relatively weak submachine gun that hit peak popularity in the 1980s. But don't let the lack of firepower fool you: all a gun needs to do is melt a zombie's brain, and with a high rate of fire and a big magazine, the MAC 11 is an excellent tool. Just ask the townspeople of a certain village in southern Spain. The only drawback is that it'll be a tough weapon to acquire -- most gun stores don't carry submachine guns.
Though if you are in the USA, guns should be plentiful during the Zombie Apocalypse. Small submachine guns will be more common in the cities, so keep an eye out if you're making your way though a metropolis.
Noise: High / Utility: Low / Crowd Control: Medium / Stopping Power: Medium / Availability: Low / Maneuverability: Very High
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8. Pipe Bombs Left 4 Dead
Pipe Bombs are perfect for creating a diversion or evaporating a small group of the undead. They are fairly easy to build from scratch, and will be invaluable if you find yourself looking at a city block littered with the reanimated corpses of citizens looking for your insides. Because they will be on the hunt in force.
They are lightweight and extremely loud, good for drawing groups of undead toward a specific location. Though they are more unpredictable than the other weapons on this list, that just means lots of care should be used when deploying the devices. Put some air under 'em.
Noise: Very High / Utility: Medium / Crowd Control: Very High / Stopping Power: Very High / Availability: Medium / Maneuverability: High
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7. Katana Dead Rising
The katana should be your sword of choice because it is sharp, light, and readily available. How do you get your hands on one? Gas stations and smoke shops usually have some hanging out above the door or behind the counter. If you are in the suburbs, snag one from a local karate gym.
The katana's curved blade can pretty easily lop off one head per stroke, which makes it the perfect tool for sparsely populated areas, like suburban homes and truck stops. Its only drawback is its questionable durability -- but if you only use it when you need it, you should be all right.
Noise: Very Low / Utility: Medium / Crowd Control: Low / Stopping Power: Very High / Availability: Medium / Maneuverability: High
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6. Machete Killing Floor
In the Unreal Tournament mod Killing Floor, we learned how a simple machete can be good for taking out your standard zombie. A machete weighs around a two pounds, so there is a decent amount of heft, but it won't weigh you down like a sledge hammer or a broadsword. And it is built for hacking. Heads roll, limbs line your path. It is a good piece of weaponry to have slung across your back.
But, more than as an instrument of decapitation, a machete is a fine tool. It can be used to create paths in dense brush, or crack open a boarded up door that could be the only barrier between you and shelter. A must-have for any survival tool kit.
Noise: Low / Utility: High / Crowd Control: Medium / Stopping Power: High / Availability: Medium / Maneuverability: Very High
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5. Crowbar Dead Island
Okay, so Dead Island isn't out yet, but we can only assume that its attention to melee combat will allow us full use of the crowbar. I mean, it's the crowbar: one of the legendary, classic video game tools that has cracked skulls and busted open doors for ages. It is the quintessential weapon: heavy, durable, and violently lethal.
It is the kind of weapon you can use to bust open a padlock and rectify an undead situation in pretty much the same moment. When electricity is out, doors to food and water are locked, you'll need more than a surivival knife or a baseball bat to make it through. And they are plentiful -- any garage should have one.
Noise: Low / Utility: Very High / Crowd Control: Medium / Stopping Power: High / Availability: High / Maneuverability: Very High
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4. AK-47 Left 4 Dead 2
The AK-47 is one of the most reliable guns on the market. It is sturdy, relatively lightweight and powerful. Most civilian copies are semi-automatic which actually works in the favor of the survivor. Ammo won't waste, and you'll gain a lot of accuracy. In Left 4 Dead 2, we were shown what the venerable assault rifle was capable of.
Some will complain that the gun's accuracy doesn't quite match up to some of the other assault rifles available. There are two answers to this: first, if a zombie is that far away, you don't need to shoot it unless you are saving a life, and second, practice makes perfect.
Noise: High / Utility: Medium / Crowd Control: High / Stopping Power: Very High / Availability: Medium / Maneuverability: Medium
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3. Sig Sauer P226 Resident Evil 5
A powerful, accurate pistol is the key to getting out of tight situations. Resident Evil 5's Sig Sauer P226 has proven itself as one of the few pistols that can effectively control a large group of zombies, with enough firepower to blow enemies on their rotting, dead asses. It had a large enough clip to neutralize a medium sized group of zombies. And it is a reliable back-up to any shotgun or assault rifle that might be low on ammo.
And Sigs are easily found at gun stores. Most cities have a few across their sprawl, and 9mm ammunition should be readily available. Load up a backpack with a few cases of bullets and stick the pistol in your belt and you are ready to blow up some skulls, friends.
Noise: Medium / Utility: Medium / Crowd Control: High / Stopping Power: High / Availability: High / Maneuverability: Very High
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2. Broken Butterfly Resident Evil 4
The ultimate rectifier. The Broken Butterfly is a .45 magnum that has six explosions in its cylinder. The gun is powerful enough to pacify any enemy that could possibly want to do you harm. It can only hold six shots at a time, but those six shots can finish the project. As we saw in Resident Evil 4, an El Gigante will be laid to rest after just two fully-upgraded shots. That's a hell of a feat.
.45 magnums are in any gun dealer or pawn shop across the US. If a situation gets out of control, it's easy to just bust out the old mag and run train on everything in your way. Better pick up a shoulder holster for this one.
Noise: Very High / Utility: Medium / Crowd Control: Medium / Stopping Power: Very High / Availability: High / Maneuverability: Very High
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1. Shotgun Half-Life 2
The shotgun is precisely the weapon to hang onto during the Zombie Apocalypse. Immense firepower, spread damage, and a melee weapon if you run out of ammo. In Half-Life 2, the zombies were very fast and very stealthy. Luckily, that shotty was very powerful and had a double-shot option. Two shells will slow anything down.
Depending on which way you believe the world will end, having such firepower has varying importance. If it ends with fast zombies, popping off blast after blast will save your life. Slow zombies can be quieted with measured shots. But, in the heat of it, a shotgun will be your best friend. And it can open doors just as effectively as a crowbar.
Noise: High / Utility: High / Crowd Control: Very High / Stopping Power: Very High / Availability: Medium / Maneuverability: Medium
Honorable Mentions: Chainsaw (Dead Rising), Red9 (Resident Evil 4), Cob Cannon (Plants vs. Zombies), Baseball bat (Left 4 Dead 2),
Tags: Top Ten Weapons, Zombie Apocalypse
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