Sold.

​By Ryan Winslett 

Super Mario Bros. has been turned into a burlesque show. I can't decide if I should be proud or extremely terrified that I've been given the opportunity to type that sentence.

For gamers living in Chicago, all of your wildest Mario fantasies are about to be realized thanks to the fine folks of Gorilla Tango Theater and their latest creation "Boobs and Goombas: A Super Mario Burlesque."

According to the press releases, "Mario and Luigi have become so perpetually frustrated by their endless pursuit of the Princess that everything they see has started to look like a beautiful, sexy woman--even their most dangerous enemies."

Seriously, after 25 years of chasing skirt with nothing to show for it, risking life and limb and putting a beatdown on Bowser time and time again, it's no wonder everyone's favorite plumbers have finally snapped.

Visitors to the show are being invited to find out if the brotherly duo (also played by lovely ladies) will finally rescue the princess and make with the sexy times, or be seduced by a scantily clad Chomp or Goomba along the way.

Like any good burlesque show, tips are appreciated and, if enough dough is gathered throughout the performance, a special "alternate ending" will be revealed.

Unlike the Mario games, this show caries a rating of R and is intended for viewers 18 and over only.

For those living in the Windy City, visit gorillatango.com for tickets and showtimes.

As for the rest of you, anyone up for a road trip?