​By Aaron Matteson

Who knew that one scrappy little Italian plumber with a penchant for thwarting kidnappings could become such a sensation?  

By the time of Super Mario World, the titular Mario had come a long way from his original incarnation as the daring "Jumpman" of the Donkey Kong arcade game. He had spawned a hit series of games that spanned consoles, merchandising that promised to sell wildly, and a supremely confusing television show primarily about pasta consumption.

Since Super Mario World, the eponymous hero has been pimped out as a go-kart driver, tennis player and medical doctor, among other things. But whenever we see Mario now, even rendered in 3D on a next-gen platform, we'll remember the things he taught us in this early 90's classic, just as he was growing into the superstar he was meant to be.

Nothing says "I'm a capable adult who is confident in the world" like jumping on someone's head. It is perhaps the simplest way of communicating the primacy of one's will over another.  This convention is in place throughout the history of Mario as a character, but in Super Mario World it is brought to an entirely new level, with the spin jump and dive-bomb features introduced. We learned quickly from Mario, and it had an impact on our timid, young souls: be a good person, know right from wrong, but also know when to stop talking and start jumping on people's heads.

In many difficult levels a player can get to a place where he doesn't even want to attempt any more. Where it seems futile to go on, where the thought of trying that water level one more time fills him with fury and disgust. But give it one more shot, be tenacious, and eventually a path forward will present itself. We learned this from Mario.

Or, alternatively, get a Cape Feather and fly over the entire damn level.

YEEEAAAAAH CAPE FEATHER

In castle after castle, through all of the many different sub-regions of Dinosaur Land, Mario encounters different sneering Koopa spawn: Roy Koopa, Lemmy Koopa, Morton Koopa, Jr.  The list goes on and on. Apparently, the "King Koopa" is anti-family planning. In any case, it is clear that the autocratic regime that rules Dinosaur Land is accustomed to giving handouts to relatives of those in power.

This is obviously a big mistake. If Bowser was hiring based on merit and not based on the fact that his kids were out of work and trying to get their feet in the door as mid-level tyrants, Mario would have to do a hell of a lot more than push inexperienced lackeys into lava pits in order to advance.

We all knew that one friend who played Super Mario World as though Mario had just snorted a small hill of cocaine. He would speed through the levels at a full sprint, teeth gritted, barely avoiding pitfalls and hopping enemies. Mario would frenetically bounce from platform to platform, sometimes missing death by unbelievably small margins.

On one hand, this was sometimes quite entertaining to watch (especially because such players are often prone to hilarious fits of rage in the event of a Game Over).

But rushing through Super Mario World is like rushing through life: you may beat levels, save some time, maybe even accomplish a lot. But there is so much you'll miss. In the game, you'll miss such awe-inspiring sights as multi-colored Yoshis, safe havens labeled "Top Secret," and flying pumpkins. In life, you will probably miss fewer dinosaurs, but if you're too worried about going somewhere fast, you may miss other things. The dream job you never knew existed until you stumbled upon it. A kiss from someone you almost missed. A family that would have faded away if you were too busy running for the horizon.

This game made us instinctively fear anyone in football uniforms. For the nerdier among us, this fear served us very well.