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Publisher: 505 Games
Systems: iPhone OS (reviewed), Android, PS3, Xbox 360
Release Date: Sept. 29, 2009
ESRB Rating: E
In a nutshell: Avoid that tackle. OK, now avoid that next tackle. Now repeat roughly a billion times.
0:00 Being in England for two months has kind of made me miss good old American football. Not that there's any American football in summer anyway but... no one over here even cares about the sport. Something about a "World Cup"... Anyway, I'm not that confident that they'll be able to squeeze a decent football experience onto the iPhone, but I'm eager to be proven wrong.
0:01 Lots of loading obscured by logos. Then I get an ad for the Xbox 360/PS3 version amid some deafening, atonal heavy metal wailing. It has me diving for the volume rocker.
0:02 I turn off the music in the options screen. There's an option for "Use your own music" but it's grayed out for some reason.
0:03 I name my player "@.@" because I can. My player's skin tone defaults to brown. At first I think this is a bit racist, then I think that it's pretty accurate, given the current makeup of the NFL.
0:04 I can choose from a bunch of lame fake team names. I choose the Pioneers because they're the lamest.
0:05 Let's start with Rookie difficulty and Challenge mode instead of Endurance. And away we go!
0:06 I barely have time to view the controls before the loading is done. Then we get a long, slow pan around the stands of a cheering stadium. I wait for it to finish instead of clicking skip, but it loks like it will never end, so I tap and move on.
0:07 Playing around with the on screen buttons, I quickly figure out that they make me run forward, and dodge or spin left or right. I run forward, then let go and tap the left button to juke past the single defender. Then I run into the yellow "200 point" area in the end zone. The character models are kind of blocky, but the animation is impressively smooth. The intentionally shaky, over-the-shoulder camera isn't bad either. Reminds me of Gears of War.
0:08 Making the tackler miss got me 50 points, plus I got 230 for a "time bonus," 400 for an "attempts bonus" and 1000 for a "completion bonus." Yay for bonuses!
0:09 Not until Wave 2 to I notice that tilting the iPod to either side makes me turn left/right during my run. I'm so smitten with this discovery that I don't juke in time and get knocked down brutally twice in a row. I still have three more attempts, but I have to focus here...
0:10 Yet another control discovery: Leaning the iPod forward makes me run forward -- no need to hold the on-screen button. So, I guess the button is for turbo, then? Anyway, I juke past one guy on the goal line and get in for 200 again. This time my 1860 points for the wave, includes 150 for "tricks," for some reason.
0:11 I pull out a spin move in Wave 3 by tapping the little spin button. This is worth a lot more points than the juke, for some reason... I'm up to 2700 for the wave!
0:12 In wave 5 the opponents come right at me, not at angles as before. I get decked by five brutal looking tackles in a row and it's Game Over already. I can post my score to Facebook, but I'm relatively sure no one cares.
0:13 My 8,390 points is well short of the 18,000 I need for even a Bronze medal, but I'm confident my next attempt will be better, now that I know the controls.
0:15 I'm finding that if I'm even at a slight angle to the tackler, and if I time it anywhere close to right, then absolutely any spin and/or juke will let me avoid disaster. They might slow me down, but they seem utterly incapable of knocking me over.
0:17 I get through Wave 5 without much trouble this time. Even if I juke right into the guy, I seem to get off all right. It looks like the tacklers actually phase through me when I spin. Maybe it's because I'm on Rookie difficulty?
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0:21 The only trouble I've had so far has more to do with the controls than the actual difficulty of the game. There's a slight delay between when I can let go of the turbo and when I can juke/spin. Once I adjust for this, I have almost no trouble getting past Wave 10. I've earned a Silver helmet for my score of 32,315.
0:22 I have to complete two Rookie Challenges before I can turn on Pro difficulty, so I guess I'm on to Challenge 2
0:23 The major difference in Challenge 2 is a big translucent red wall cutting into the field. I run towards it, because it's a big red thing, and that should be good, right? Nope, it's out of bounds. Whoops.
0:24 I'm having too much fun with the newly discovered Showboat button. Once I'm past all the defenders, I can hold it down to do a slow highstep into the end zone. Of course, I start it too early and get tackled from behind each time. I'm nothing if not greedy.
0:27 Sure, showboating is fun, but it's near impossible to see the tackler coming behind you until it's practically too late. I guess you just need a feel for how far ahead you are...
0:28 Things get interesting in Wave 5, with the red walls forcing me to do quite a bit of zig-zagging. I have to really guide my guy through and only get to the end of my last chance. Good thing I get five new chances on every wave.
0:30 There seems to be no penalty for repeating the same move over and over. In fact, the game so far seems to encourage nothing but spins, as they are worth the most points and work nearly 100% of the time.
0:32 By Wave 8, tacklers are coming fast and frequent, but they're still not working together, as real tacklers would. They just stand around until I get in their zone, then run right at me. It would be more interesting and realistic if they all just converged on me, like in real football, but I suppose the iPhone isn't up for that. I would have given up the fancy 3D graphics to make it possible, though.
0:33 I've finished Wave 10 yet again, with a good deal of red wall dodging. I've unlocked Pro difficulty and gotten another Silver helmet. Hurrah!
0:35 I'll try out new Pro difficulty in Endurance mode. The global high score is 631,000. I'm expecting no problem beating that... nosireee...
0:37 Wow... I can not get by the single guy in the first wave of Pro difficulty. I'm throwing up spins and jukes just like before, but now they're staying with me as I move and tackling me later. Nice to see that the difficulty actually means something...
0:38 I finally make it to Wave 2 by juking as late as possible. Way later than I think is advisable, in fact. It just barely works, too.
0:40 I just got tackled into the end zone after showboating in Wave 2. It looks even better on the replay.
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0:41 Tilting the iPod forward to run is pretty annoying. It forces me to crane my neck awkwardly to look down at the screen. Bleh.
0:42 Even when I wait for them to dive now, I sometimes juke right into their path. This is a lot more interesting than Rookie mode, that's for sure.
0:44 I JUST managed to cut short my high-stepping in time, trading it in for a dash into the end zone. Sure I lose the bonus, but at least I survived... WHEW!
0:45 Well, I finally got up to Wave 4 after quite a few attempts. I'm getting a little better at reading the timing I need for these spins. I've also found it's quite a bit easier if I lay off the turbo, but still not easy enough. About half the time I mess up I feel like it's the game's fault for not recognizing my input quickly enough.
0:47 I find that positioning myself so the tacklers come in at an angle really helps for dodging purposes. Of course, doing that means I don't have as much time to see them coming and judge their tackling distance. I'll have to strike a balance, because running straight at them sure ain't working.
0:48 Defeated again in Wave 3. I keep spinning right into their tackles, rather than away from them. Where's the jump button?
0:51 OK, that time I know I tapped the juke button, but the game reacted as if I did nothing. Bleh.
0:56 A new strategy gets me through to Wave 7... I force them to come in at an angle, then turn and juke parallel to their tackle, but just in front of it. It works brilliantly, unless I mess up the touchy timing. I wish I had some real buttons to press rather than a squishy touch screen.
0:57 FYI, my iPod Touch battery was nearly full at the beginning of this review. Now it's at 20%.
0:59 There was a harsh learning curve for that new difficulty, but I think I've got a feel for it now. The difficulty curve is staying nicely in between "too easy" and "too impossible" so far.
Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes.
Why? While it's not going to replace Madden, and the controls are a bit annoying, it seems like it could be fun to bust out while waiting in a bank queue or something.
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