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I just discovered what MAG was a few weeks ago.  This massive action game (get it, MAG?) supports up to 256 gamers per game on the PlayStation Network.  I play on the 360 almost exclusively, which is why I only recently got the details of the game, and I've been contemplating what it would be like on Live.

I have come to the conclusion that it would be too stupid.  Each game would contain about 240 more douchebags than I can handle.  It would never, ever, ever work on Live.  I can see the allure of it, the possibility of being able to play an organized, all-out war and I want that.  I want that desperately.  I would just want less-idiotic comrades.  But hey, maybe that's one of the few places the PS3 has the Xbox 360 beat.  Maybe they can handle it.  Maybe I should buy a PS3 (only sort of kidding, I have a tube TV).

I say this because I am used to the kind of personalities that one encounters every single time one decides to try and enjoy a few rounds of Halo 3, Gears 2, or more recently Modern Warfare 2.  I don't know the rules for the PlayStation Network (never played), but it seems like, without fail, I have to deal with somebody either A) team-killing me, B) giving me static noise in my headset, C)  having a spotty connection and causing me to lag, or D) insulting me in the lobby before and after games.  And that's just with 15 other people.  Sometimes less.

Now, I know that everyone complains about Xbox Live frat bros or 12 year old girl-boys, but with a small group of people, most of us can typically wade through the bullshit and enjoy a decent game of Capture the Flag or something. 

Usually people will make a lame comment about my gamertag, shriek wildly, or call me a homophobic slur or something equally thoughtful.  Everyone that's played on Live knows what I am talking about.   In response to this I either mute them (which I have to do to each individual gamer), or try to come up with smart and original retorts.  I rarely ever start the smack-talking, but I can assure you this: if there is music playing, you can be damn sure I'm gonna dance.  And engaging SIXTEEN TIMES as many douches as I do now in a witty way would literally cause me to have a severe nosebleed and surely die.

Look at them. I want to beat them up.

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But with 256 people, it would be really nice to be able to strategize and work as teams in these two massive armies.  I can't even do that with 8 players unless I know literally everyone on my team.  Imagine having to go through and mute all of the annoying people, then trying to work tactically through the sprawling campaigns that MAG boasts.  It would be damn near impossible.

This might be just where the PS3 gets you.  I have always imagined the PlayStation players see themselves and Xbox players as different in the same way that Mac commercials depict Mac users and PC users as different.  People who own PS3s typically consider themselves refined and hip technophiles, while Xbox owners are that amorphous 'other', the dim bunch who just don't seem to get it.  And maybe this is true to a degree, and maybe it's just that young kids and frat boys can't (or couldn't when it came out) afford the PS3, but it certainly gives PS3 owners a distinct advantage when it comes to massive online gaming - they have the maturity to deal with large groups of people. (I've also heard that it is much easier to get banned on the PlayStation Network.)

As an Xbox guy, I long to have a game like MAG that can take advantage of the giant Live population, while minimizing the number of assholes I have to deal with.  Maybe that day will come, but until then I will spend my time defending my mother's honor from the onslaught of pre-pubescent boys, and waiting to respawn after being team-killed in the first few moments of battle.

(Note: Shortly after I finished this, I got screamed at and then team-killed by a guy in MW2.  Thanks homie!)