Seven Things Our Readers Think Totally Suck
Posted by Anton Gordon at 10:33 AM Aug 06, 2009
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Have you ever said to yourself "I'm gonna wake up today and go poke a hornet's nest?" That's what I did yesterday with my Seven Best-Selling Games That Totally Suck feature. Despite saying in the very first sentence that I was trying to be obnoxious, some readers were very, very annoyed. Many were ticked off that I would dare slander one of their favorites, while others were more pissed by what I didn't include. Fortunately, many of you were kind enough to leave some calm, reasonable thoughts in the comments section. Yesterday, we learned what I hate. Today, we learn what you hate.
7. Left 4 Dead
A couple people quickly chimed in to blast me for leaving Left 4 Dead off the list. No one provided any reasons why it sucks, so I'll just have to assume that some people just don't think blasting zombies is awesome. But in all seriousness, Left 4 Dead is a game that draws most of its entertainment value from the group you play with, so bad experiences with a group could easily lead to a bad impression of the game.
6. The Tony Hawk Games
Every game I ripped on had its defenders, except the Tony Hawk series. Well, there was one poster who agreed that the series has been headed downhill for a while, but he didn't agree that it should be on my list. Still, I'll take your silence on the Tony Hawk games as evidence that you guys actually agree with me on this one.
5. Hatin' on Sony Products
Say anything about a Sony game, and some gamers react like you told them that you said "I had sex with your Mom and shot her in the face, but not necessarily in that order." I have a feeling many Sony fanboys were the coolest kids in high school, but after graduation found themselves working at Jiffy Lube. Reminding them that Sony isn't #1 anymore reminds them of their own stink of failure. "Sony's on top and always will be, just like me...oh."
4. Wii
A few posters said that I didn't go far enough by singling out Wii Play. One poster even said that anything with the word "Wii" in the title should have been included. I'll confess that I could have done this list with nothing but Wii games, but I thought I'd be fair and spread the hate around. Turns out that's not what people are looking for. They don't want generalized hate. They want focused hate. Suck it, Wii. Everyone hates you. Go cry yourself to sleep on your huge piles of money.
3. Halo
Ahh, Halo. This series had the most people screaming for its inclusion, by far. Some singled out the original Halo, while others focused their rage on Halo 3. Few mentioned Halo 2, oddly enough, despite its shitacular cliffhanger ending. Of course, bashing Halo brought out the Halo Defense force, ready and willing to counter-bash the haters. Why can't we all get along and hate as one?
Honorable Mention: Gears of War
2. Seven Best-Selling Games That Totally Suck
"This article is a rant and not a proper criticism of games." - Caffeine Nazi.
Agreed. - Anton Gordon
"Are you serious!!?? This list sucks!!" - 360Bro
"this article is a CRAP!" - Cannabiano
Not the best thing I've ever written, I'll admit that. - Anton Gordon
"This "article" is a huge pile of sh*t. Thanks for wasting my time." - Wesker6664
1. Anton Gordon
"Anton you suck." - ZingerAU
"your taste in games suck" - KPDC1
"your a fucking idiot.
how can you even remotely say resistance fall of man is a bad game.
you sir should be shot on site!" - name
"ANTON GORDON is a retard." - your retarded!!
"You should be ashamed to be a poster or journalist." - Anonymous
There's many more where that came from, but to summarize (and paraphrase Sally Field): You hate me, you really hate me! To those who were truly offended, I'm (kinda) sorry. I thought it was obvious that I was having a bit of fun. Perhaps not. I'll make it up to you with my next love-fueled list: Seven Great Games That Should Have Sold Better.
Comments
I'm in the definite minority here, but Halo 2 was my favorite of the bunch, and it's because of the campaign.
Halo 1 and 3, if you got stuck on a spot on Legendary, someone just ran forward guns blazing and chucking 'nades until they got killed. You'd wait for them to respawn, and then start again.
Halo 2 on Legendary required us to actually coordinate and plan our attacks. And there were segments in there that were just brutal, sniper alleys were always dreaded. I spotted, while my friend popped the little fuckers.
And just to help keep the love going from the last thread, you totally suck Anton.
Hugs and kisses,
- Paul
Posted 08/06/2009 at 10:51:58 AMLike I said before it's all in opinion. But, I now understand you just make these "articles" just to piss people off and see their reactions.
Posted 08/06/2009 at 11:37:42 AMI'd have to disagree with you on the Tony Hawk series, at least on when it started to go downhill. THUG 2 is my favorite in the series, simply because I love the soundtrack and it has most of the levels from the first 3 games in it anyways, along with new ones. The story is terrible and Bam Margera needs to go away and be stricken from the public consciousness. Anything after that was nigh unplayable, and only remarkable for introducing me to the band "Scissors Sisters". I still rented every one, though, in hopes of it regaining it's former greatness.
Posted 08/06/2009 at 12:02:59 PMI got a real kick out of the comments from the original article. Everyone is entitled to an opinion -- even journalists -- but a lot of people out there are so automatically defensive that they leave their funnybone at the door.
This list is just as good as the other one, except I disagree that you suck. You _majorly_ suck :p Haha, it was funny how people ragged on you so much and so seriously. In the words of the Joker: "Why - so - seriousss."
Here is my opinion, for the record: The Wii is a terrible console but is good for kids and families. The Halo franchise is way overrated; I say this because I had the first game on my old Xbox and I just couldn't get into it. Every console has great games (except the Wii) and every console has games that gain huge sales figures simply because they have a big enough following -- not because the game appeals to everyone.
Different tastes, different choices. Defensiveness reflects selfishness. A bird in hand will leave a real mess, so wear a glove.
-Geckomayhem
Posted 08/09/2009 at 09:52:05 PMHey I thought these articles were a good read, I would throw in any sports game that has a year in it's title, at least past 2000/2001
Posted 08/09/2009 at 10:27:35 PM"Sony isn't #1 anymore reminds them of their own stink of failure. "Sony's on top and always will be, just like me...oh"
Speaking of all the hating, why the hate for Sony Anton? Oh I get it, you're an xbox fanboy. The Wii is a piece of shit we can all agree on that. The 360 has a ridiculous failure rate and all it's "peripherals" to make it almost par to the PS3 are all sold seperately almost evening out the difference in cost. The PS3 and it's retarded have to install everything bullshit and lack of PSN titles sucks but at least its free. So really there's no #1. Just a bunch of fanboys including yourself Anton, ranting and stiring up shit trying to make one fanbase look worse than the other fanbase.
Posted 08/10/2009 at 02:07:20 AMCool article, you're a funny guy Anton =P
Posted 08/10/2009 at 10:03:00 AM