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In doing the research for Joystick Division's semi-beloved Weekly Fan Art Column, I tend to accumulate more crappy video game drawings than I can actually use. Much of it gets deleted, but some of it survives, cluttering my computer with garbage-y fan wankery that would make anyone who searched my hard drive think I'm a creepy, maladjusted shut-in. Which is, of course, true. Anyway, here are some of the remnants of previous editions, plus a few bits from a few aborted columns that never saw the light of day, like Mr. Marcus Fenix from Gears of War above and a big-handed Dante from Devil May Cry below.
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Who's this handsome fellow we're starting off with, you ask? Why, it's Goro, who didn't quite make the cut from the bathshit crazy Mortal Kombat Fan Art column. I think he's holding a fire extinguisher, but I can't be sure. I am quite sure that he sucks, though.
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Ever wanted to see a female version of Goro totally naked? No? Well too bad, now you have. Quite the ghetto booty on her, too.
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Goro as host of MTV's Jackass? I'd be more interested to watch that than the real show. I don't remember Goro looking like a rejected M.U.S.C.L.E. toy, though.
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Here's our first cross-franchise art of the column, but it won't be the last. Bonus points for crossing Mortal Kombat with South Park in a way that's ridiculously anti-gay. This drawing is practically a hate crime. Then again, it would be no matter what South Park character was used.
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And here's another cross-franchise piece of shit, this one cut out of the Metal Gear Solid entry. Homer's face actually looks pretty good, but that's all I'll give it. Is he wearing a diaper? Maybe his drinking is really starting to have some adverse affects.
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More Metal Gear Solid homoerotic creepiness. You're welcome.
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We've specially designed this plasma grenade to accommodate Master Chief's limp-wristed throwing style.
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Here's a little more that didn't make the cut from either of the two Halo entries. Master Chief grilling grunts is funny, I guess. But any time you add anything from the Star Wars prequels, you lose a billion points. That's right, Star Wars nerds: the prequels suck and you know it. Tune in next week when I make fun of the five remaining Matrix fans!
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And finally, it's tradition to close on a flamingly gay note whenever possible. These two dudes, who are so clearly about to fuck, are apparently two of the characters from the Halo-inspired Red vs. Blue series, not that there's any indication of that at all. And you thought it couldn't get any worse than this. Oh, but it can. It can always get worse when you're talking about Weekly Fan Art. Once you see it, you can't un see it. Until next week!
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