Aww yeah. What's the best way to start your week off right? Coffee and donuts? Hookers and an eight ball? If you answered "Weekly Fan Art, of course!" then you have serious problems. I don't know about you, but this column makes me cry every time. Then again, I do have to clear my search history every time I put one of these together, so my wife doesn't inadvertently discover that I was looking at pictures of Scorpion sucking Sub-Zero's dick. I wish I was kidding. Anyway, this week's entry on the Prince of Persia is mercifully fellatio-free!
The Prince of Persia isn't quite the ubiquitous series that say Mario or Sonic are, so if you haven't played it, here's a rundown. You play a Prince (from Persia, duh), who is a pretty acrobatic dude and fights and ancient evil. You're pretty much up to speed. Take a look at Mr. DumpyPants above. Dude's gonna be played by Jake Gylenhelalalal in a movie. You can see it, right?



Oh, I forgot to mention that the Prince has an evil twin who showed up in The Two Thrones. Ahh, evil twins. You know who else had an evil twin? Urkel on Family Matters. Whenever you get into a discussion about the quality of video games as an art, keep that in mind.


The Dark Prince is a pimp. He's got his choice of these fine Fisher-Price Little People. Mmm, them's some sexy stumps of woman right there.


The Dark Prince likes to keep a tidy home! Probably got all dirty during his amputee orgy a minute ago.


Aww, that's kind of a nice picture, isn't it? The people kissing are of the opposite sex, and...  GOOD LORD, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEIR LEGS? He's got arm-legs! She's got stick-legs!  I guess if she got pregnant, the kid might come out okay.


Get it? Prince of Persia? Because he is Prince, and he is funky. 


And here you have your choice of two different art pieces with exactly the same idea. Personally, I prefer the one below, as it's got a glowing quote from Harry at Ain't It Cool News. 


I promised you a Weekly Fan Art with no blowjobs, and I delivered. Now, you folks owe me. Send me your own terrible fan art, drop some comments below, and send me suggestions for future columns. DO IT! This I command.

Sigh. I've got to stop drinking.