Last week, I inflicted Part 1 of the Weekly Fan Art: Halo Edition upon the internet. Are you ready for Part 2? I sure am, but that's mostly because I've been drinking heavily since last night. Damn the academy and their Space Chimps snub! As bad as that was, it's still not as bad as what I have in store for you, thanks primarily to the misguided belief that Halo is somehow sexy. Ugh. If you're ready, read on.

Before we get to the true horror, let's warm up with some more standard terrible fan art, like this piece above. Take a look. Doesn't it suck? Sigh. That's all I got folks. Compared to some of the work below, this is the goddamn Mona Lisa.


Getting warmer. I've asked this question before, but what is it about video game characters that makes fans want to do cute versions of them? What, exactly, is cuddly about an armored, enhanced military killing machine? There's absolutely nothing adorable about Master Chief, and we shouldn't give Microsoft ideas. They'd make Halo Babyz if they thought we'd buy it.  


So this guy here, he's the Arbiter. He's a bad guy, but he's also a playable character in Halo 2. Oops, spoiler alert! He's a Covenant Elite. Below you'll see another Elite. In Drag.


You were warned.


So this boxy, uh, thing, which I assume is supposed to be Master Chief, is apparently firing at something off screen, probably an Elite. Elites have segmented mouths, hence the "Split Chin" comment. At least, I think that's what he's referencing. Is it just me, or does that phrase seem somehow racist? I dunno, I just find this piece offensive. Oh yeah, it's because it sucks so much.


Apparently, Master Chief can beat the Predator. Big deal. So can Danny Glover, and he did it without an energy sword. I'm calling it now: Danny Glover could totally take Master Chief.


Okay, now it's really starting to get weird. Did the artist fall in love with another Halo player? Halo: CE was the first game (Halo: Combat Evolved). Which didn't have online multiplayer. So this guy fell in love with his roommate. Gay.

Speaking of which, from this point on, I'll be covering the truly bizarre phenomenon of Red vs. Blue fan art. As I said last week, Red vs. Blue is a video series created with the Halo engine. Here's a poster just to confirm what the characters in the series look like: 


Get it? They're Spartans, just like Master Chief. I've watched a good chunk of the RvsB episodes, and unless I missed it, these characters never show their faces or anything - because they can't. Bungie never shows unmasked Spartan, so RvsB didn't have those models to work with. This is important. You'll see why in a minute. But first, let's warm up a bit.

This is the type of fan art I like. Terrible, but not terrifying. Shitty art, dialogue that makes no sense. That's what it's all about. I think that one guy is a Transformer.