Your Esteemed Gaming Press

Posted by Anton Gordon at 2:14 PM Oct 08, 2008

There's been a lot of talk lately on Joystick Division about the gaming press, largely about what a sorry state it's in. A while ago, Gary, Chris and I discussed reviewing the various gaming magazines that are released every month, and I had that idea in mind when I discovered this:

The worst question EVER asked by a member of the gaming press.

Seriously.

Click the jump to read the worst example of game journalism you'll ever see.

"Speaking of focus groups, you mentioned that the loudest one in the room always influences the outcome, which is music to my ears. Not crappy pop music, but really good music like Alter Bridge, whose new disc Blackbird is available now on Universal Republic Records [as soon as you're done reading this awesome interview and ogling the many incredible screenshots and artwork, head over to myspace.com/alterbridge and make sure to click on "Ties That Bind"]. Because you guys not only get it, but you're doing it. A lot of developers and studios that get it cave, which is why we get Superman movies in a Lobo world, Dancing With the Stars, (my eyes are burning!) and 14 modern warfare games a year that all feature "realistic battles!" I propose that you seize this opportunity and market Splatterhouse as a game not determined by opinion polls but by highly skilled professionals who've spent their career making games, and containing no filler or by-products. There are a lot of new gamers out there and press who think that the absence of online gameplay is a bad thing. Bullshit in, bullshit out, ya know? A traditional FPS should have deathmatch and capture the flag because that's what FPS players dig. But action games? Er, no. There's a question in there somewhere."

That's an unedited question posed by the infamous Dave Halverson in the cover story for the October issue of Play Magazine. If you read it carefully, you caught what game it's about. If not, you might have missed it. Let's examine why this is the worst question ever:

1. It's long.
2. It's rambling.
3. The grammar is atrocious
4. What's the subject of inquiry? Focus groups? Online play? Comic books? Reality television?
5. Oh yeah, there's fucking product placement in it! Let's give Halverson the benefit of the doubt here and assume that he's not being paid to drop mentions of some shitty Creed spin-off band. I'm here to read about games, not your garbage-dump taste in music.

I feel bad for the guys at BottleRocket, the developer of Splatterhouse. It's their game that prompted this addled, ADHD excuse for an interview question. The game itself looks pretty fun. Too bad the author of this story about it goes for nearly a full page without mentioning the game, and then wastes even more space with inane questions like these. Play has always been, in my mind, the worst gaming magazine out there. I thought that once Dave Halverson promoted himself from Editor in Chief to Publisher that might change. I guess not. Sigh.