By Bonnie Ruberg

10. Gamers need to shower. Yes, this is a cruel one, but it’s true. Entering a crowd of fanboys means entering a certain, “I’m sleeping on the floor of the expo and haven’t changed my shirt in three days” odor cloud. It’s bad enough I considered carrying Febreeze with me on the expo floor.

9. Kilts are the new cool – or at least, nerds’ idea of cool. Here in Seattle, there’s a store that makes and sells “utilikilts,” skirts for boys with cargo pockets that start at $150. Popular among the type of people who carry D20s, these fashion statements dot the expo. It’s especially hard to take a security guard seriously when his kilt is blowing in the wind.

8. With a costume on, everybody looks happy. Taking photos with cosplayers always makes me feel bad. They have to put on their headpieces and pose for the seventeenth time in an hour. What makes it easier: once they’re in costume, they can’t help but seem ok with it – probably because their smiles are painted on their faces.

7. Pacman is Jewish. Who knew?

6. Nerds will line up for hours for the briefest mention of sex. At both the Sex in Games panel and the Sex, Violence, in Video Games panel, PAX-goers waited for nearly an hour to get in the door and hear stilted conversations about pixilated penises. You would think, given how much awkward sex there is to find online, they wouldn’t be so eager for more of it.

5. Fallout 3 looks awesome, even if it rips off of Bioshock. Little Big Planet is way too adorable. Spore is way too complicated – or at least life-sucking. I want them all.

4. Princess Peach has gone through some changes.

3. Video game cakes have made it to PAX, such as this one, which sat out near the expo hall but never got eaten. Sadness.

2. My heart can be won with swag. Like all good fanboys and girls, I was thrilled to pick up such worthless, game-branded junk as a Pacman bouncy ball and a Fallout hand puppet. Any company that gave me toys became my friend. Forever.

1. Fans think Jerry and Mike are gods. At the numerous Q&As with the Penny Arcade guys (also known as Gabe and Tycho), attendees lined up to ask every question from, “Are you so awesome because you’re bald?” to “Can I give you chocolate?” to “How much do I need to pay for your son to marry my daughter?”