PR Nightmares #2: 50 Cent, Blood on the Sand
Posted by Chris Ward at 1:52 PM Jul 08, 2008
Is it possible to love/laugh at a game as much as I love/laugh at 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand, which unironically drops this Fall? Since Kotaku ran the newest, Awesomely Stupid Trailer, I thought I'd let you fine folks know what runs through my brains after reading the incredible press release...
50 Cent and G-Unit are putting on a show somewhere in the middle east...
Like Bob Hope, with motherfucking Tec-9’s!
The crowd are pleased...
Of COURSE the crowd are pleased. Why would not they be?
...but the promoter refuses to pay 50 and G-Unit.
Fucking typical. Go somewhere in the middle east during a real and deadly war to play a show purely for profit, and rap industry promoter/freedom fighter Allah Abdul skips out on the bill. Your Craigslist ad was a lie, bitch!
50 is not going to leave without his money, so he hassles and threatens the promoter.
Real classy, 50. You know, when you're rich, the idea is that other idiots handle that shit for you. Also, the promoter is not strapped with a bomb, killing them both. Really believable stuff.
The promoter does not give them money...
What? Why not? Is the promoter not intimidated by 50's muscles/light-hearted appearances in Vitamin Water commercials? To quote Young Jeezy: “If the money’s gone nigga, be the fuck gone with it!”
...but a very valuable diamond encrusted skull.
That’s Harrison Ford’s! Not fucking cool, Fitty!
50 and G-Unit are about to leave the country when they are ambushed and the skull is taken away from them.
This happens every time I'm about to leave the country. Don't put your crystal skull through the conveyor belt at Mideast airport security. It won't come out the other end.
The game then continues with 50 trying to get what's rightfully his and find out who ambushed him and why
That skull is rightfully his, in lieu of that money that was rightfully his. Maybe the sequel can have me finding out who robbed my car, and why. Who would do that, and why? Sure there was money in there, but WHY?
Also, is this game compatible with the Wii Fit balance board? It HAS to be.
Comments
That’s Harrison Ford’s!
Or Damien Hirst's.
Posted 07/08/2008 at 02:27:16 PMdoesn't 50 have enough Crystal Skulls?
Posted 07/08/2008 at 02:38:15 PMFitty gets such a bad rap!
Posted 07/08/2008 at 04:32:08 PMWhat's that all about?
Glad to see he's getting a chance to bust the skulls of them haters!
I wonder if there will be cool unlockable characters like Nate Dogg and Snoop?
I for one will be lining up days in advance to ensure I get my copy of this pile, er pinnacle of gaming industry!
It 'd make more sense if they jacked his eBayed Crystal Clear Pepsi's!
Posted 07/08/2008 at 04:59:41 PMHe's gonna get that crystal skull back...
Or die tryin'!
Posted 07/09/2008 at 09:25:22 PMVideo was removed, but I seen it before anyway. The video itself is soo tight and maye the game won't be half bad, but the story is so Ludacris (get it?) that... well... what you said.
Posted 08/26/2008 at 06:19:27 AM