Top 5 Superheroic Fatalities You WON'T See in MK vs. DC

Posted by Gary Hodges at 3:22 AM Apr 21, 2008

Well, the rumors were true: Midway has confirmed their next Mortal Kombat will be a crossover title, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, "koming" sometime this fall. According to GamesRadar, the only characters confirmed so far are Sub-Zero and Scorpion from the MK lineup and Batman and Superman from DC.

Obvious questions come to mind: "How in the world would Sub-Zero be able to tear off Superman's head?" "How can Batman have a fatality when he doesn't kill people?" Well the rumor is we don't have to worry our pretty little heads about it: there won't be fatalities in the game at all.

So I'm hesitant on two levels. As a comic geek, the match-ups just don't work very well - the mere idea of Catwoman punching Superman in the face - and potentially knocking him out - made my eyes roll so much, I needed to sit down from the vertigo. The level of nerfing Superman in particular will have to suffer is ridiculous to the point of making him a joke character.

And as a gamer, no over-the-top violence means MK vs. DC will have to rest on the strength of its gameplay... which is like stripping Jessica Alba of her looks and forcing her to be successful on the strength of her acting ability.

But we'll see. In the meantime, I decided to put together a list of the Top 5 Superheroic Fatalities You WON'T See In MK vs. DC...

5. Superman’s “Kosmic Incinerator”

Hold block and press Up, Up, and A(way), and Superman scoops up your defeated body and tosses you into his all-purpose waste disposal facility, the Sun, the same place he throws all his shit: captured nukes, junk mail, his garbage, socks he masturbated into while stalking Lois in Superman Returns…



4. Batman’s “Illegal Krossing”

Batman doesn’t kill people, he’s very clear on that. “But look, Gordon: If some dumbfuck decides to cross the street wearing all black when I’m flying down Arkham Way at 172 mph – he’s fucked, ‘Bat Brakes’ or not. So get off my case.”



3. Catwoman’s “Fanboy Katatonia”

Catwoman celebrates her victory by rewarding herself with a nice, thorough tongue bath, while you silently give thanks to all the darkest, most craven gods of Outworld that you’re wearing a tunic with a big, concealing flap in the front.

Also: KAT-atonia, get it? It works on so many levels! Oh alright, forget it.



2. Power Girl’s “Kranium Kleavage Krunch”

People have asked – both in real life and in the comic itself – why the absurdly buxom Power Girl has a large window opening on the front of her bodysuit showing off her Grand Canyon-sized cleavage. I think I figured it out.



1. The Flash: “Katch It Early”

Upon experiencing a few rounds of MK vs. DC Kombat, Barry Allen takes a page from the Terminator films, scoops up a bazooka and runs so fast he rips through spacetime and finds himself in the past… where he can blow up Midway before it’s even built and save us from this game.